friends are a dime a dozen, everybody wants to say they are friends, have friends, want more friends, etc. however, a good friend, scratch that a great friend is hard to come by.
dictionary.com's definition of friend:
--noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regards.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
my definition of a friend, a good friend:
someone who is there for you no matter what. someone you can trust and depend on. someone who will be honest with you even if they know that it may sting. someone that, even if you haven't talked in several years, you could pick up the conversation as if there was never any time passed. if you need a dollar for bus fare they would say i'll give you a ride. if you need $10 to feed your kids dinner, even if they don't have it, they'll say come eat with us tonight and we'll figure out tomorrow.
a friend is someone that will be happy for you even when they are unhappy about themselves. someone who will encourage you, uplift you, tell you if an outfit is all wrong for you, babysit your kids and treat them like they are theirs. a friend will worship and pray with you, for you and ask you to do the same with them, for them.
a friend will help you move at the last minute, will give you a place to lay your head when your place no longer exists. a friend will open their doors for you to have a function at their house when you don't have the money to rent out an actual party space and that same friend will spend their own money and decorate it for you as a gift because you have been all of those things to them.
I've lost friends for the very reason they said they liked me. I lost one friend because I invited them out for a birthday drink to celebrate my birthday, but I had to work super late so I didn't make it to the bar at all. do you know they got mad at me and told me they did not appreciate my not showing up because they had driven so far to see me, to celebrate with me and how could I be so inconsiderate.
this same friend liked the fact that I liked to have fun, get away from the kids and give them a girls night out so we could just laugh and not think about being wives, girlfriends, moms for a little bit. this very same friend I bowled with on a regular basis and had come all the way to her home to pick her up on more than one occasion and dropped her back off (I live in the city she lives in the far south suburbs). I never complained, never asked for gas money but because I missed my own birthday celebration, that she had to drive to, I was no longer a fun loving, thoughtful person.
I've lost a friend that said they knew they could depend on me to be honest with them and they trusted me enough to tell me some of their most intimate details because they knew I wouldn't tell anyone else. they trusted my opinion. well I was honest with them and they couldn't handle it and decided to no longer speak to me.
neither of these people do I hate or wish ill will towards, I still actually wonder how they are doing and if their families are well and I still love them as people but because they were on their own agendas or were having bad days we no longer have that connection. so sad.
when my youngest son was much younger he used to feel that everyone should want to be his friend because he is a good person, he has a good heart. he would be so hurt when a person would say they didn't like him or didn't want to be his friend and I would tell him that they just didn't know what they were missing out on, how good of a friend he could be. but as he got older I began to tell them that not everyone was meant to be his friend and not everyone was supposed to be his friend, not everyone was going to like him. he finally gets it! he only has a couple of really good friends that he trusts and that trust him and some of those people that didn't want to be his friend initially are now seeing how good of a person he is. they are now seeing him for the kind person that he really is, the kind heart he has. when they approach him now he still gives them the opportunity to be his friend but he now appreciates the difference between a good friend and a friend.
true friends, good friends are hard to come by so if you should ever encounter one hold on to them because it's not about the amount of friends that you have but the quality of the friendships for the few that you do have. cherish and appreciate your true friends.
peace and blessings wonderful people!
