I was listening to my usual radio program the other morning
and the conversation turned to a particular gospel artist and him putting his
personal, yet unpleasant, business out in social media and at the same time pulled
a few other people in on there with him.
In this self exposing matter, after he’d basically called the other
parties liars he then proceeded to say that he had forgiven them but the hosts
of the show questioned the sincerity of that forgiveness.
It brought me to thinking more and more about forgiveness,
or the lack thereof, and I came to two specific thoughts:
Unforgiveness has many reasons; one is that we have not been
taught (shown) what it is. But I think
the other is; we tend to see that act that we cannot forgive in ourselves.
A lot of times when you are not able to forgive the person
that has wronged you it may be because you see some of that wrong doing in
you. You see that it is either something
that you have done and you feel guilty about and now that thing has been thrown
in your face and the other person may not have had any idea what they have done
or because you see in you the potential to do the same thing to another person
but you are not happy about that fact that you are capable of being just as
wrong because you see yourself as a “good person”. Ex: if you cannot forgive your mate for going
outside to get intimacy, and it doesn’t have to be physical, it could be
because you are guilty of the same.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not condone infidelity but
sometimes a person steps out of the partnership for a connection that they
either never got from you or can no longer get from you no matter what they do
to get it. They did everything you like
but you no longer have the interest or time to pay attention to them and give
them that connection. You blame them for
the failure of your partnership and refuse to forgive them and all the while
you are doing the very thing you refuse to forgive them for or you at least
thought of doing, you wanted to do it, maybe even planned to do but didn’t act
on it. The guilty will persecute…think
about it.
With all of the things that happened to me along this
journey called life the only way I was able to get through it was to believe in
a higher power (God, Jesus), pray to that higher power, ask for forgiveness and
the power/ability to forgive myself and others.
No matter how much I’d thought I’d gotten over things the more it was
put in my face in various ways, not always exactly as it happened but similar,
the more I began to realize that I had not truly forgiven those things that had
happened to me, myself for “letting” them happen and the people that had done
those things. But as I began to mature
in myself and in my walk with God I began to learn to forgive and live in
peace. I don’t let people have that much
control over my life anymore.
I’m
sitting there talking about what they did to me, thinking about how it hurt me
and what I can do to get back at them and the whole while they are moving on
with their lives no longer thinking about how they hurt me, no longer looking
for forgiveness because in their heads and hearts, it’s done and over and if I
can’t forgive them oh well.
Don’t hold on to grudges, that hurt, pain, unforgiveness,
dislike, mistrust turns into hate and all of those things eat you alive and
your health fails, your mind fails, your prosperity fails, your happiness fails
and you cannot live in your purpose. You
may look, on occasion, happy and carefree but the whole while you are aching on
the inside, falling apart on the inside.
Sit down and really think about it; why are you not
forgiving that person honestly? Is it
really about what they did or didn’t do to you or is it more about what you may
or may not have done to others or what may or may not have gone the way you
wanted in your life.
You cannot truly forgive others until you have truly
forgiven yourself. Until you have
forgiven yourself for what you have done in your past and who you used to be
and asked the Creator for forgiveness you cannot truly forgive others.
Peace and blessings awesome people!
Jai Ar
