thinking about soul ties

Another topic that I have been thinking on is one I have mention before in another post; soul ties.

I was thinking how enjoyable intimacy is between husband and wife versus a dating couple or even a sex partners situation.  When I am intimate with my husband, not just sexually, their is a feeling of connection that I have never felt with any of the men that I have dated, seriously or sexually, ever.  I am of the belief that it has to be because of our God ordained, covenant created soul tie.

In the past I have explained what a soul tie is but briefly and simply it is that connection that a man and woman has when they have sex, especially unprotected sex.  Sex was created and ordained by God to be between husband and wife.  He did that because there is a lot that is supposed to happen between that man and woman before, during and after that act and during that interaction fluids are exchanged, bodies are intertwined and souls are connected or tied together.  If this act is committed between man and woman who are not ordained or meant to be together then the emotions that go along with all of that are now in a turmoil.

ok, so I had to take a little break to regroup and then come back to this.  but funny, while I was taking my break I heard a comment on the radio about soul ties and the example that was given was it's as if your souls have been velcroed together and when you Velcro your soul to someone it shouldn't be, when you pull it apart it hurts.

now back to my view:

now you have these two souls in emotional turmoil and they are both trying to figure out what went wrong but first they have to blame the other person before excepting the responsibility of their own actions.  if those souls don't heal properly you now have two people connecting to two others and the cycle continues and you have a whole collection of people with souls in turmoil and wounded and depressed.  one of the first things you should do if you are insisting on being tied to someone in that sense without being married to them, after it doesn't work out, is re-evaluate the relationship and your part in it.  don't put all of the blame on the other party because there were two of you in it.  sure you may have been what you considered the perfect mate but there is no perfect person so how could you be the perfect mate.

even if you did everything right, loved, appreciated, tended to and those are all wonderful things as yourself what didn't you do in all of that giving.  did you set boundaries, did you remember self while you were doing all of this caring for others, did you hold on to any remnants of yourself or dive all into the other person and forget who you are and what you like.  did you take advantage of the other person's kindness and treat it as a weakness, did you mistreat the other person by having unrealistic expectations of who they are and what you expect of them.

if you felt mistreated ask yourself how were you mistreated and what did you do or not do to make those feelings known.  remember a person will only do to you what you allow them to do.

once you've evaluated then you must forgive; forgive yourself and forgive the other person.  if you continually walk in unforgiveness you are not healing and taking that same hurt into the next relationship and making the other person suffer for something they did not do.

after you have forgiven you must then evaluate what it is that you like about you and enhance that, what you like about you genuinely will be visible to others and they will like it as well, if it is good and not bad.  you must then love yourself for who you are at that moment in your life, you can show others how to love you if you don't know how to love you.  lastly just be happy, if you are happy then you will attract happy.  all of this should take you a good, at the very least, three months.  once that time is up and you have been honest with the process you will then be ready for whomever it is that you are supposed to be with and hopefully they will be ready for you.

live life in happiness and honesty taking responsibility for you.

peace and blessings awesome people,

jai ar
 

procrastination

I have once again drowned myself in procrastination.  I have had several good, no great, topics of discussion in my head for the last month or more and have yet to put any of them down.  I have yet to fill/feel any of them out to see what they may amount to and I have used, work, school, family and fatigue all as excuses for not doing any of the things that I should do.  not taking the time to reconnect with me and my God the way I should, not taking the time to put those things down in print as I am spiritually directed to, not taking the time to do those things that may lift up others to the measure that I am supposed to is an absolute dis-service to myself and dishonors my Creator.

all of that said, I have decided, just now in this moment to set myself a daily reminder to journal/blog/write down my day's thoughts or the thoughts from a day or days ago so that I am back on track with His calling on my life.  for right now I am going to write on yesterday and then move back as far as a can remember over the last 7 days.

yesterday

a friend of mine and I had been talking over the last few weeks about a guy that she's "dating", it is in parenthesis because she said to me today she has no idea what it is they are doing now.  we'd also been talking about a relationship she has with her best friend and how that seems to be slowing down and why she thinks it is and what others are saying they think it is and so on and so forth.  so yesterday she says to me that all of it came to a head and she needed to talk with me and seek my advice.  I have had people come to me over the years asking my thoughts on a particular thing or another and requesting my advice, initially I was reluctant to do it because usually when you do that and something goes wrong, they blame the advice giver.  later I began to see that this is a part of my calling, my blessing, my assignment and because I know that I try to meditate or think hard before I respond to them because any words that I speak I want them to be genuine, honest and from God.  does that always work?  no.  but I do try my best to have that happen.

so she begins to tell me how her friend has been avoiding her lately and not been very receptive to her checking in on her to see how she is doing.  i'd told her just a day or so before to just allow the woman space to cope with what is or may be going on in her life at this moment.  so we are discussing the latest situation and how the friend avoided her like the plague and only acknowledged her after someone else made a point of speaking to her.  a little back story, my friend and she's a new friend, has had a troubling last year or so and is just now getting her bearings again with work and relationship and she is happy once again and making moves on her own, no longer has to ask anyone to help her because she has no other way.  back to the point; all of her happiness going on but her friend is now going through her own battles, unhappy on the job, in her relationships and extended family issues and may very well be having a hard time being happy for my friend, maybe even a little jealous.

so we have this discussion and I say to her just give her the space she needs to get over whatever she needs to get over but be there when she calls to reach out, to apologize, to reconcile to talk.  she may very well be hurting and jealous and unable to deal with your happiness and newly regained independence.  she was used to you coming to her and speaking to her and relying on her that now that you don't have to do that anymore she is having a hard time dealing with it and she also has her own stuff to sift through and maybe trying to do that and this may not have anything at all to do with you.  give her the space she is asking you for non-verbally but be there for her when she calls.  she tells me she's just done because it's not the first time this woman has done this to her and she feels like the woman is being petty and childish.  I agree but you still have to be there, you can't be done in this way.

we spent some more time together and discussed her "boyfriend" and my husband schooled her on that one.  that's another conversation in itself.   but my hope is that this woman has heard us both and is analyzing all of it and figuring out within what is the best way to handle this and all through prayer and meditation.

peace and blessings wonderful people and I look forward to keeping in track with my plan to blog/journal on a regular basis.

jai ar