procrastination

I have once again drowned myself in procrastination.  I have had several good, no great, topics of discussion in my head for the last month or more and have yet to put any of them down.  I have yet to fill/feel any of them out to see what they may amount to and I have used, work, school, family and fatigue all as excuses for not doing any of the things that I should do.  not taking the time to reconnect with me and my God the way I should, not taking the time to put those things down in print as I am spiritually directed to, not taking the time to do those things that may lift up others to the measure that I am supposed to is an absolute dis-service to myself and dishonors my Creator.

all of that said, I have decided, just now in this moment to set myself a daily reminder to journal/blog/write down my day's thoughts or the thoughts from a day or days ago so that I am back on track with His calling on my life.  for right now I am going to write on yesterday and then move back as far as a can remember over the last 7 days.

yesterday

a friend of mine and I had been talking over the last few weeks about a guy that she's "dating", it is in parenthesis because she said to me today she has no idea what it is they are doing now.  we'd also been talking about a relationship she has with her best friend and how that seems to be slowing down and why she thinks it is and what others are saying they think it is and so on and so forth.  so yesterday she says to me that all of it came to a head and she needed to talk with me and seek my advice.  I have had people come to me over the years asking my thoughts on a particular thing or another and requesting my advice, initially I was reluctant to do it because usually when you do that and something goes wrong, they blame the advice giver.  later I began to see that this is a part of my calling, my blessing, my assignment and because I know that I try to meditate or think hard before I respond to them because any words that I speak I want them to be genuine, honest and from God.  does that always work?  no.  but I do try my best to have that happen.

so she begins to tell me how her friend has been avoiding her lately and not been very receptive to her checking in on her to see how she is doing.  i'd told her just a day or so before to just allow the woman space to cope with what is or may be going on in her life at this moment.  so we are discussing the latest situation and how the friend avoided her like the plague and only acknowledged her after someone else made a point of speaking to her.  a little back story, my friend and she's a new friend, has had a troubling last year or so and is just now getting her bearings again with work and relationship and she is happy once again and making moves on her own, no longer has to ask anyone to help her because she has no other way.  back to the point; all of her happiness going on but her friend is now going through her own battles, unhappy on the job, in her relationships and extended family issues and may very well be having a hard time being happy for my friend, maybe even a little jealous.

so we have this discussion and I say to her just give her the space she needs to get over whatever she needs to get over but be there when she calls to reach out, to apologize, to reconcile to talk.  she may very well be hurting and jealous and unable to deal with your happiness and newly regained independence.  she was used to you coming to her and speaking to her and relying on her that now that you don't have to do that anymore she is having a hard time dealing with it and she also has her own stuff to sift through and maybe trying to do that and this may not have anything at all to do with you.  give her the space she is asking you for non-verbally but be there for her when she calls.  she tells me she's just done because it's not the first time this woman has done this to her and she feels like the woman is being petty and childish.  I agree but you still have to be there, you can't be done in this way.

we spent some more time together and discussed her "boyfriend" and my husband schooled her on that one.  that's another conversation in itself.   but my hope is that this woman has heard us both and is analyzing all of it and figuring out within what is the best way to handle this and all through prayer and meditation.

peace and blessings wonderful people and I look forward to keeping in track with my plan to blog/journal on a regular basis.

jai ar