chaos

i've been dealing with a lot of chaos in my life lately and once upon a time when i worked for a life coach, she informed me that usually when chaotic event after chaotic event enters your life it usually means that you are off-center, off-balance and need to refocus your energy on more positive activities, thoughts and prayers.

last week, on my husband's birthday, so many chaotic things happened; 1, we got into a huge argument about a male friend of mine. 2, our car broke down. 3. we couldn't get a rental. 4. to get the car towed and repaired over the holiday cost us all of our money in the bank. 5. this has put our account into major overdraft because we mailed out checks to pay bills.  6. husband and i argue again about that male friend. 7. the morning of my son's ribbon pinning ceremony i get into a car accident, where 8. i go to the e.r. and accumulate a $200 bill for the copay and we also now have a $500 deductible to pay for whatever car repairs will have to be made.

my conclusion; i have not prayed and meditated the way i did prior to my marriage so my goal is to carve out that time i need every day to do just that.  my husband is high maintenance emotionally so i have to learn how to balance his desires with my own piece/peace of mind and calmness.

for all who feel that their world is turning upside down, filled with chaos and frenzied activity in a bad way needs to stop and take the time to just breath, pray and meditate.  if you are not one that believes in a higher power of any kind, i believe in God/Jesus, but if you don't then at least find that one positive thing that relaxes your mind and focus on it for at least 15 minutes every day and this will get you back on track over time.  also over time once you get good at meditating you'll learn how to take shorter meditation breaks that provide that quick rejuvenation.  remember, don't let anyone or anything know you off your pedestal of peace.  no one should have that much control and influence in your life that they keep you from finding balance, take back the control over your life.

peace and blessings!

Crazy ride

Yesterday was my husband's birthday and i wished him a very happy birthday and told him to saddle up for a wild and crazy day, well i spoke that thing into existence because that's exactly what it was.  We started the day out fine, loving each other and being happy and i decided it was time for me to start getting ready for church.  While i'm getting ready all hell was breaking loose and the next thing i know we are having a major disagreement, keep in mind this is his birthday and i had some big things planned for him that day.  So we have this disagreement and in the midst of it he says he doesn't want to do the things i planned, i said ok fine and began getting my things together. 

We go to church, service is good and i fess up to my being wrong and apologize for it, i thought everything was fine.  We leave church and head to the restaurant he wants to eat at and on the way there i almost hit someone who jumps out in front of me and somehow the shock on the driver side breaks...wtfoolishness!  We make it to our destination and call a tow truck, he calls a family member and we get the car towed to a repair shop but we still need a car.  We drive all around trying to get a rental and can't get one because neither of us has a major credit card, that's a story for another time.  We then drive to another relative's home and sit there for a bit when his aunt comes in and says we can use her car, hallelujah!  We leave there and get to the hotel, one of the things i had planned.  We check in and change clothes so we can go to the play he wanted to see.  After we laughed our heads off, by the way Madea Gets a Job is super funny, we leave the theater and go get something to eat and go back to the hotel to relax.

It cost us all of the money we had to get the car towed and repaired so we are officially broke and i have to call both my landlord and insurance company and explain why both the rent and insurance is going to be late, ugh.

I had no idea that yesterday was going to be so adventurous and i'm glad it's over and we survived it.

The reason for our big blow out is a topic for another discussion but it involves jealousy, insecurity, mistrust and the feeling of betrayal.

Peace and blessings good people!

Jai Ar