Yesterday in my neighborhood my sons and i heard a lot of sirens, just over and over again, they seemed to never stop. My youngest son asked me where were they going and i told him i had no idea, because i didn't. We left maybe an hour later to go to do the laundry and there were still several sirens being heard and we had to pull over a couple of times so the police cars could get by us. On the way to church this morning we were driving along and my son and i were talking about how people were raised and how that affects who they are today and how in some cases they allow themselves to live a "victim" life when i noticed a group of young men clustered in one section with a small boy and i thought to myself "it's too early to be hanging and why do they have that child with them" but as i got closer to them i could see they were putting up a memorial and then i said "Lord cover them"
After church i go onto my fb page and one of the first things i see in my news feed is that a young man had been killed by the police while allegedly in handcuffs. Supposedly there was an attempted armed robbery of a truck driver by five young men and those men led the police on a car chase and then all bailed from the car and ran and this young man was caught but he resisted, the police, according to eyewitnesses, handcuffed him but one officer still felt threatened and proceeded to shoot the young man twice. That young man left behind several family members including a newborn son and girlfriend.
I don't watch the news if i can help it but that gets hard sometimes because my husband does watch it. But i don't watch it because i want to remain in selective ignorance. It's not that i don't want to believe what's going on or that i don't believe in bad things happening, especially to good people or that i want to live in my own version of lala land or that i grew up in a world sheltered from the bad so i can't face it now. On the contrary, i know that negativity, that bad things happen. i grew up in the middle of bad things, it covered me like a warm winter coat, it walked down the street with me every day and when i tried to ignore it it got right in my face on several occasions to taunt me and try to make me believe there was no other way in life. There were times when i believed it, many times when significantly bad/negative things happened and when i finally finish my book they will all be written down.
I choose selective ignorance because i get tired of hearing about our young black men killing others and subsequently themselves, i get tired of hearing about people going on, what appear to be random rampages and shooting up or stabbing, killing and harming people in general. I get tired of hearing about the blatant disrespect for life and the outright racism, of the genocide, of the self hate. I get tired of hearing about how bad the economy is at that our current president isn't helping the situation because his solutions are costing Americans so much money and is causing small businesses to go out of business and how he wants the wealthy to pay more taxes and what a hardship that would be for them. I get tired of hearing about men and women abusing and abandoning their children or women allowing men to abuse their children whether out of fear or out of pride of having a man no matter how bad he is for her and her children's lives.
Young men are killing other young men, especially in the black community, because they don't know true love from their own fathers. Whether it be because their fathers were never there, or they were but did not display the positive example that their child needed to see or because they were there and according to how they were raised you didn't show emotions or outward examples of love as a man or if it was because that mother refused to let that man near his children or if because of pride they felt if they could not provide for their child financially they should not spend time with that child physically.
Men, if that mother is not letting you spend time with that child(ren) ask yourself why and be honest with yourself. If you did something to damage that mother and or that child, either mentally or physically then you should not see that child without supervision and only after extensive counseling maybe to deal with what made you do the things you did. If you promised her the world and all in it and did not deliver, whether on purpose to get in her panties or unintentionally because you weren't being realistic about your future together, then apologize, mend that fence. Or is it that she is just being spiteful because you are no longer together but she believed you to be a good man and knows that taking your children from you would hurt you to the core? Whatever the reason, before you call her a dirty rat stank bitch whore, remember, you laid with her by your own volition knowing there was a chance that a new life would be created.
Women, why are you not letting him see his children? Is it because he was abusive? Did you not see signs of that before hand or did he surprise you one day with a slap, kick, punch or call you out your name? If that's the case, why did you stay? Did you believe that you loved him enough that he would change or because he apologized and said he'd never do it again, only to do it again the next month? Was it because you didn't believe you deserved better or was it just to say you had a man, no matter how bad of one he is? Was it a one or two night stand or completely physical relationship and either you got caught off guard or you caught feelings and you either don't know who he really is or where he is or you thought having a baby would change how he felt about you and make you more than a booty call? Is it because he has no money and can not provide financially, but didn't you know that before you laid with him? Or is it because he is a good man but you treated him like crap and he got fed up and left you for someone who appreciates him and you know keeping his child from him will hurt him? Wait, before you call him a low down dirty whoring dog, didn't you know that when you lay with him there was a chance a life would be created?
My brothers and sisters did you not pay attention in health class, did you not read the condom package?
Despite all of that confusion, lack of knowledge or spitefulness the children suffer in the end and and become these beings that we have before us now that have no fear or respect of authority and surely no respect for life. When you raise your child in a gang, drug and money hungry life and show them that there is no other way out or way to live you are igniting the fire of ignorance. Men when you sit in front of tv all day and do nothing or sell drugs on the corner or out of your house and your sons and daughters see you with weapons they don't hear you telling them to stay in school and get an education because your actions are speaking louder. Women when you bring man after man after man around your children and these men have the freedom to go and come/cum as they please without the semblance of caring for you or them you are not showing them how to live healthy lives and have healthy relationships. When you dress like a street walker in clothing that is too tight, too short, too revealing you can not be mad at your daughter for wanting to wear the short, see thru dress that barely covers the black of her behind and you can't be mad at your son if that's all he brings home or feels it's ok to cuss you out when you tell him to take out the garbage or get the girl out of his bedroom.
I don't watch the news because i choose to be ignorant, i get tired of hearing about the killing, muggings, abuse, drunk driving accidents and/or deaths. I choose to be selectively ignorant because the reality of what we are doing to others and subsequently to ourselves is ugly, hurtful, almost unbearable and unfathomable in the mind of someone who chooses to believe that there is some good in everyone it just has to be cultivated. My pastor said something in service today, paraphrasing: don't keep saying that they need to put prayer back in the schools because why would you want the government dictating what prayer your child says and what god are they praying to...your child should be praying anyway because of what you've taught them. Or is it that the parents don't know to pray?
I pray that all of our hearts are touched to a point where we crave the need to nurture and encourage others young and old. That we desire to see better in ourselves and others around us, that we love all that we encounter and push them to be better people, that we demonstrate love not just speak it.
Peace and blessings beautifully, wonderfully made people!
