thinking about soul ties

Another topic that I have been thinking on is one I have mention before in another post; soul ties.

I was thinking how enjoyable intimacy is between husband and wife versus a dating couple or even a sex partners situation.  When I am intimate with my husband, not just sexually, their is a feeling of connection that I have never felt with any of the men that I have dated, seriously or sexually, ever.  I am of the belief that it has to be because of our God ordained, covenant created soul tie.

In the past I have explained what a soul tie is but briefly and simply it is that connection that a man and woman has when they have sex, especially unprotected sex.  Sex was created and ordained by God to be between husband and wife.  He did that because there is a lot that is supposed to happen between that man and woman before, during and after that act and during that interaction fluids are exchanged, bodies are intertwined and souls are connected or tied together.  If this act is committed between man and woman who are not ordained or meant to be together then the emotions that go along with all of that are now in a turmoil.

ok, so I had to take a little break to regroup and then come back to this.  but funny, while I was taking my break I heard a comment on the radio about soul ties and the example that was given was it's as if your souls have been velcroed together and when you Velcro your soul to someone it shouldn't be, when you pull it apart it hurts.

now back to my view:

now you have these two souls in emotional turmoil and they are both trying to figure out what went wrong but first they have to blame the other person before excepting the responsibility of their own actions.  if those souls don't heal properly you now have two people connecting to two others and the cycle continues and you have a whole collection of people with souls in turmoil and wounded and depressed.  one of the first things you should do if you are insisting on being tied to someone in that sense without being married to them, after it doesn't work out, is re-evaluate the relationship and your part in it.  don't put all of the blame on the other party because there were two of you in it.  sure you may have been what you considered the perfect mate but there is no perfect person so how could you be the perfect mate.

even if you did everything right, loved, appreciated, tended to and those are all wonderful things as yourself what didn't you do in all of that giving.  did you set boundaries, did you remember self while you were doing all of this caring for others, did you hold on to any remnants of yourself or dive all into the other person and forget who you are and what you like.  did you take advantage of the other person's kindness and treat it as a weakness, did you mistreat the other person by having unrealistic expectations of who they are and what you expect of them.

if you felt mistreated ask yourself how were you mistreated and what did you do or not do to make those feelings known.  remember a person will only do to you what you allow them to do.

once you've evaluated then you must forgive; forgive yourself and forgive the other person.  if you continually walk in unforgiveness you are not healing and taking that same hurt into the next relationship and making the other person suffer for something they did not do.

after you have forgiven you must then evaluate what it is that you like about you and enhance that, what you like about you genuinely will be visible to others and they will like it as well, if it is good and not bad.  you must then love yourself for who you are at that moment in your life, you can show others how to love you if you don't know how to love you.  lastly just be happy, if you are happy then you will attract happy.  all of this should take you a good, at the very least, three months.  once that time is up and you have been honest with the process you will then be ready for whomever it is that you are supposed to be with and hopefully they will be ready for you.

live life in happiness and honesty taking responsibility for you.

peace and blessings awesome people,

jai ar
 

Selective Ignorance

Yesterday in my neighborhood my sons and i heard a lot of sirens, just over and over again, they seemed to never stop.  My youngest son asked me where were they going and i told him i had no idea, because i didn't.  We left maybe an hour later to go to do the laundry and there were still several sirens being heard and we had to pull over a couple of times so the police cars could get by us.  On the way to church this morning we were driving along and my son and i were talking about how people were raised and how that affects who they are today and how in some cases they allow themselves to live a "victim" life when i noticed a group of young men clustered in one section with a small boy and i thought to myself "it's too early to be hanging and why do they have that child with them" but as i got closer to them i could see they were putting up a memorial and then i said "Lord cover them"

After church i go onto my fb page and one of the first things i see in my news feed is that a young man had been killed by the police while allegedly in handcuffs.  Supposedly there was an attempted armed robbery of a truck driver by five young men and those men led the police on a car chase and then all bailed from the car and ran and this young man was caught but he resisted, the police, according to eyewitnesses, handcuffed him but one officer still felt threatened and proceeded to shoot the young man twice.  That young man left behind several family members including a newborn son and girlfriend.

I don't watch the news if i can help it but that gets hard sometimes because my husband does watch it.  But i don't watch it because i want to remain in selective ignorance.  It's not that i don't want to believe what's going on or that i don't believe in bad things happening, especially to good people or that i want to live in my own version of lala land or that i grew up in a world sheltered from the bad so i can't face it now.  On the contrary, i know that negativity, that bad things happen.  i grew up in the middle of bad things, it covered me like a warm winter coat, it walked down the street with me every day and when i tried to ignore it it got right in my face on several occasions to taunt me and try to make me believe there was no other way in life.  There were times when i believed it, many times when significantly bad/negative things happened and when i finally finish my book they will all be written down.

I choose selective ignorance because i get tired of hearing about our young black men killing others and subsequently themselves, i get tired of hearing about people going on, what appear to be random rampages and shooting up or stabbing, killing and harming people in general.  I get tired of hearing about the blatant disrespect for life and the outright racism, of the genocide, of the self hate.  I get tired of hearing about how bad the economy is at that our current president isn't helping the situation because his solutions are costing Americans so  much money and is causing small businesses to go out of business and how he wants the wealthy to pay more taxes and what a hardship that would be for them.  I get tired of hearing about men and women abusing and abandoning their children or women allowing men to abuse their children whether out of fear or out of pride of having a man no matter how bad he is for her and her children's lives.

Young men are killing other young men, especially in the black community, because they don't know true love from their own fathers.  Whether it be because their fathers were never there, or they were but did not display the positive example that their child needed to see or because they were there and according to how they were raised you didn't show emotions or outward examples of love as a man or if it was because that mother refused to let that man near his children or if because of pride they felt if they could not provide for their child financially they should not spend time with that child physically.

Men, if that mother is not letting you spend time with that child(ren) ask yourself why and be honest with yourself.  If you did something to damage that mother and or that child, either mentally or physically then you should not see that child without supervision and only after extensive counseling maybe to deal with what made you do the things you did.  If you promised her the world and all in it and did not deliver, whether on purpose to get in her panties or unintentionally because you weren't being realistic about your future together, then apologize, mend that fence.  Or is it that she is just being spiteful because you are no longer together but she believed you to be a good man and knows that taking your children from you would hurt you to the core?  Whatever the reason, before you call her a dirty rat stank bitch whore, remember, you laid with her by your own volition knowing there was a chance that a new life would be created.

Women, why are you not letting him see his children?  Is it because he was abusive?  Did you not see signs of that before hand or did he surprise you one day with a slap, kick, punch or call you out your name?  If that's the case, why did you stay?  Did you believe that you loved him enough that he would change or because he apologized and said he'd never do it again, only to do it again the next month?  Was it because you didn't believe you deserved better or was it just to say you had a man, no matter how bad of one he is?  Was it a one or two night stand or completely physical relationship and either you got caught off guard or you caught feelings and you either don't know who he really is or where he is or you thought having a baby would change how he felt about you and make you more than a booty call?  Is it because he has no money and can not provide financially, but didn't you know that before you laid with him?  Or is it because he is a good man but you treated him like crap and he got fed up and left you for someone who appreciates him and you know keeping his child from him will hurt him?  Wait, before you call him a low down  dirty whoring dog, didn't you know that when you lay with him there was a chance a life would be created? 

My brothers and sisters did you not pay attention in health class, did you not read the condom package? 

Despite all of that confusion, lack of knowledge or spitefulness the children suffer in the end and and become these beings that we have before us now that have no fear or respect of authority and surely no respect for life.  When you raise your child in a gang, drug and money hungry life and show them that there is no other way out or way to live you are igniting the fire of ignorance.  Men when you sit in front of tv all day and do nothing or sell drugs on the corner or out of your house and your sons and daughters see you with weapons they don't hear you telling them to stay in school and get an education because your actions are speaking louder.  Women when you bring man after man after man around your children and these men have the freedom to go and come/cum as they please without the semblance of caring for you or them you are not showing them how to live healthy lives and have healthy relationships.  When you dress like a street walker in clothing that is too tight, too short, too revealing you can not be mad at your daughter for wanting to wear the short, see thru dress that barely covers the black of her behind and you can't be mad at your son if that's all he brings home or feels it's ok to cuss you out when you tell him to take out the garbage or get the girl out of his bedroom.

I don't watch the news because i choose to be ignorant, i get tired of hearing about the killing, muggings, abuse, drunk driving accidents and/or deaths.  I choose to be selectively ignorant because the reality of what we are doing to others and subsequently to ourselves is ugly, hurtful, almost unbearable and unfathomable in the mind of someone who chooses to believe that there is some good in everyone it just has to be cultivated.  My pastor said something in service today, paraphrasing: don't keep saying that they need to put prayer back in the schools because why would you want the government  dictating what prayer your child says and what god are they praying to...your child should be praying anyway because of what you've taught them.  Or is it that the parents don't know to pray?

I pray that all of our hearts are touched to a point where we crave the need to nurture and encourage others young and old.  That we desire to see better in ourselves and others around us, that we love all that we encounter and push them to be better people, that we demonstrate love not just speak it.

Peace and blessings beautifully, wonderfully made people!

living in your purpose

so many of us are not living in our life's purpose for whatever reason; fear of failure, lack of finances, feeling as if we don't have enough time or lack of support. whatever that reason is you are not doing yourself, your family, your future any good if you are not moving in that purpose. you are stifling your blessings, you are hindering your future generations, shaming your ancestors and insulting your Creator. failure is a lesson, learn from it and be/do/make better the next go around, finances are not a stumbling block because sometimes all you need to do is write the idea down and then speak it, you will earn a little at a time to put towards the big picture. time does not recycle once it is gone it is gone and if you are spending time talking about what you can not do you are wasting time that should have been put towards actually doing it. if all you have is you and the Creator saying that you can, that's all you need, the others will come aboard as needed. move forward in your purpose people! (i'm talking to myself too)

the power of life and death

They say the power of life and death is in the tongue

But if you know this and believe this why would you say

Those words that would ultimately kill my love for you

You say that you are sorry and you love me and you want it to work

But just like an abusive man or an addicted man you are in denial man

Wake up and realize that everything you do and say

Has an impact on more than you think

They say the power of life and death is in the tongue

Well I speak life over you and I would hope that you

Would speak life over me…but instead

What you say cuts like the sharpest knife

Bruises like the hardest punch

Degrades like the master to his slave

If you believe it then speak it and know that

It has power

When you speak positive then your actions are positive

Therefore your are positive and then you speak positive

And your actions are positive and then you are positive

You see it is a circle just like with most things in life

So the same would be true of speaking negative

The Word says that the power of life and death is in the tongue

So stop trying to kill me, you, us, we…

Jai Ar