Slump

I have been in a serious slump all week and I have not a clue why.  What I do know is that if I don't put forth the effort to get myself out of it then it will last a lot longer and morph into depression and inactivity.  That is not the journey or job that God has for me at this point in His assignment for me.

One of the things I have learned is that we only sink as far as we allow ourselves to sink.  If God has given us a task and we don't do it because we don't have the energy it is not His fault when we slide into depression.  I have been down that out before and it wasn't pretty so I now know what I need to do to come out of it; pray and move, move and pray.  Not get too comfortable in the funk of it and move it out of the way. 

For those feeling less than 100% and you are not sure why, don't sit trying to figure it out for too long, just ask God for guidance and help with climbing out of it and then climb out of it.  Pray and move, move and pray.  He is always there and always helping but you have to allow Him in when He knocks.

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Walk in your purpose!

Jai Ar

The Cover-up

Yesterday while on social media I watched a video of a young lady applying her make-up.  She took us through the entire process and it must have taken her somewhere around 30-40 minutes to apply it but she time lapsed it so it was narrowed down to just over 8 minutes.  When she was all done she looked like a totally different person, you could not decipher any of her original traits, well accept her eye color.  My comment on the video was “she really invested a lot of time and money in this process”. 

 

Watching that video made me think about a few things;

 

1. Do you dislike your looks so much that you would invest the time and money it takes to not only make yourself over but really make yourself look like a totally different person, even lighter in complexion (she had several scars and dark patches on her face)? 

 

2. What else could she have invested that same time and money in? 

 

3. Does she know God, I mean really know Him?

 

4.  If I were a guy getting to know her better I would be totally upset that she doesn’t look like the face she put on.

 

Now I can make all kinds of assumptions as to why she has gone through the trouble to do this to herself and because I don’t know her I will have to assume.  While this young lady did have several scars on her face, very dark patches of skin and dark circles on and under her eyes, she was not unattractive.  I can suppose that she did this because she was not pleased by her looks and is working on accepting herself exactly as she is without the cover-up.  I can suppose that she has received years of negative reactions from men that she may have found attractive and wanted to date.  I can suppose that she is not happy with her darker complexion and wanted to be just a tad lighter, the layers and layers of makeup she applied made her at the very least a shade lighter than her natural complexion.

 

Because she did such an excellent job at application and her technique was amazing, I wonder if she has gone to school to become a makeup artist and if she gets paid to do this for others.  She is an expert at what she's doing.  I wonder that because the process took quite a bit of time to complete and she used several products, which means she’s invested a decent amount of money in cosmetics.  It would only make since that she’s received an education, certification and is hired to make others over for a nice sum of money.  If not, what else could she do with her time and money that she spent on “perfecting” her looks?

 

I ask if she knows God because my hope is that if she did know Him then she would realize that there was no need to take 30 minutes or more out of every day, not to mention the touch-up time, to totally look like someone else.  God made her in love, to love not only others but herself.  If you have that kind of love for yourself, that God love, then it will not matter what another person thought of your looks because you are not conforming to society’s definition of attractive but God’s definition of beauty.  Love God above all, then love self, then love your neighbor as you love yourself.  How are you loving your neighbor if you can’t even love yourself.

 

Lastly, if I were a dude that met her in a club, at church, in the grocery store or a laundry mat I would be pissed.  Why?  Because she’s false advertising, she sold me a bill of goods but there was nothing good about it.  If I got to know her better as a man and we spent more time together, sure I would say she’s wearing makeup because it would be obvious but it would not cross my mind that she’s wearing that much makeup and looks so different without it.  Being vain about someone else’s looks would not be the issue, the issue would be that I would feel lied to, betrayed, taken for a sucker and I may want nothing more to do with her no matter how much I’d learned to like her as a person.

 

One other thing; this transformation is major and I only want to be transformed this completely by God.  I want to be who He wants me to be.  Please understand that I am not judging this young lady, I am not condemning her at all but  watching her tutorial really made me think about those that do this major cover-up on a regular basis.  It makes me ask; what are you really trying to hide?

 

I say all of this to say, people be happy with who God made you to be.  By happy with how God made you and if you become scarred along the way you have to be able to look at yourself and say my beauty comes from within because God planted it in me before I was born.  He created me in love.  My beauty is not in what others think of me, it isn't even 100% in what I think of myself.  My beauty is in what God has said about me.

 

I was going to post her video here but decided that getting sued was not on my agenda, so I'll just say go to ytube and look up makeup tutorials.  She's a pretty African American young lady who makes you think of the pink haired female rapper.

 

Walk in your purpose people!

 

Peace and blessings wonderful people and love yourself.

 

Jai ar

a sermon and a movie

two things that I've seen today,a sermon and a movie, have provoked a couple of questions.  Are you a misfit?  Where do you see yourself in 5yrs.  now those two questions bring about two more questions; are you where God put you? or are you where you put yourself?

I thought about these questions for a while and one thing came to mind; I grow where God plants me.  when He sees I am no longer flourishing in that spot, that my growth is being stunted, He will uproot me and place me elsewhere.  it may not be the most comfortable position, it may not be the prettiest scenery but wherever He plants me is where I have to grow until He says it's time to move on or He says this is where I stay.

I have had a lot of thoughts running through my head over the last week or so, some are valid and some are not.  what I have to do is use my gift of discernment to determine which is which and proceed accordingly.  God always listens and He always answers, all we have to do is be still and listen for Him.  He has me in a situation right now that will promote my growth if I allow it to and when He sees that I have outgrown this pot He will uproot me and plant me in another one, larger so that it accommodates the next phase of growth.

I love when He speaks to me because it puts my mind at ease when those thoughts run through my head.  better yet His voice reassures me that I am in the spot I need to be in to do what He needs me to do, when and how He needs me to do it.

I want to be wherever He places me in the next 5 years, not in the place I put myself in.  do I want to fit in?  not so much in the world's thought pattern of where I should be but where He has placed me.

so ask yourself those same questions and really meditate on them before you answer.  are you a misfit? where do you see yourself in 5 years?  are you where God put you or where you put yourself?

peace and blessings wonderful people and walk in your purpose!

jai ar

Mother's Day

My youngest son and I had a real heart to heart on Mother's Day.   He was sad because he spent some time with his grandmother, my mother, and was both disappointed and feeling protective in and of her. 

It made him sad to see how she has gone down in her health and life in general.  We discussed that there was really nothing that he could do for her other than pray because the bottom line is she needs to want better for herself and we can't make her want or do better.

We talked about life in general and how there are choices in life that we have to make and those same choices affect our future, not only our future but the futures of those we are close with and even those that aren't here yet.

In the midst of the conversation we got really deep about some of the things that have happened to me when I was younger and he asked if I had ever been molested or raped and I answered him honestly.   From there we discussed forgiveness and God's impact on my life and my increased relationship with Him.  How my faith and belief in God is what brought me through those and other hard times.

I loved that we were able to talk at that level and that we trusted each other enough to talk and be open and honest. 

God is important to me,  my faith is important to me,  my children and their children are important to me.  My God is amazing and loving and caring and kind.

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai

there is a blessing in obedience

there is a blessing in obedience.  when I was younger and my mother would tell me to do what she said or else, I did it because she was mom and I didn't want a beat down or to be on punishment.  when I was told to do what the teacher told me to do in class, I did it because they were the teachers and I didn't want a bad grade or be sent to the disciplinarian's office or worse, have my mother find out.  for my obedience in either case the reward was always better than the punishment, of course.  I got to stay up later, got to watch tv a little longer or got to go outside and play when I did what my mother said.  I would get an "A" or "B" on a test or got to be the teacher's helper when I did what the teacher said.


I had not made the correlation between my training in obedience as a child or younger person to the task of being obedient as an adult in this growing and maturing relationship that I have with the Father.  the reward for obedience is so much greater than the consequences of not being obedient to His call on my life.  when you know better you do better.


there is a blessing in obedience. 

peace and blessings GoOD people!

jai ar

Life is precious

Yesterday I had to take my husband to the er. 

He has diabetes that is easily controlled with meds, diet and excercise however,  he hates taking the meds, does not like eating the healthier foods I prepare and hates excercise more than I do.

What set this stressful episode off was our trip to Puerto Rico where we celebrated his birthday, we spent 5 1/2 days there and he drank alcohol every day several times a day and only took his meds once while we were there because he believed that drinking while on meds would not have a good outcome.  He chose drink over meds.  He also consumed a lot of water and soda and complained of a dry mouth the entire time.  

We returned home and he still consumed liquids, alcohol included, until the beginning of June which marked the end of his birthday month.  He complained still of a severely dry mouth and fatigue.   It concerned me the entire time because I knew he was harming himself but he refused to listen to me.  I continuously asked him to check his sugar count and take his meds but he would not.  Finally I got him to check it and it simply read "Hi", no number just "Hi".  I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital and he said no, I asked if he would go to our doctor and he agreed.

We get to the doc's and they measure his blood sugar and it read almost 450, they sent him to the er.  We were there for over two hours while they pumped fluids in him and gave him insulin.  One of the things they stressed to him was had he waited any longer it could have led to a diabetic coma.

I have told my husband, more than once, that I am too young to be a widow.  I mean that, burying him and mourning him at my age is not on my life agenda.  I pray that after this episode he finally realizes that life is too precious.

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai ar

making it through the storm

ok, so there is a video that I watched on fb that just ministered to me, I mean really.  so much so that this is what I said about it as I shared it on my page.

"babyyyy, this right here! this is so real and so pure and so eye opening, it puts things back in perspective. notice where she says "your little bitty, temporary storm", that's how you have to look at the things that you go through. stop... making them bigger than the God you say you serve and claim as the head of your life and as was relayed to me yesterday by Evangelist S. Hall, midnight only lasts 60 seconds. before that it's 11:59 pm and after that it's 12:01 am

minimize and put an expiration date on your storm, that is, if you acknowledge Him as the head of your life. that's my soapbox moment of the day (maybe), lol!

peace and blessings GoOD people!"

 

if I can find this video on another media outlet that allows me to share it here I will do just that because it just blessed me and I know that it will bless you as well.

 

peace and blessings wonderful people!

 

jai ar

my true Source

I was thinking yesterday how truly blessed I am and about the lessons I've learned in the five months that I've been out of work, by the world's standards.

I remember some time ago while talking with a former co-worker about a mutual friend that I could not understand why this friend who was/is a single mother was always giving this co-worker money although she was married.  one of the things I would say is "you have a husband, why is she giving to you when she is single and struggling herself?".   this co-worker said the same thing and that she would turn down the money often because she knew our friend needed it more than she did.

one of the things that my reflections showed me yesterday is that when I was not married, I would not borrow money.  I felt if I didn't have it, I didn't have it and whatever I was trying to buy or pay would have to wait.  now I am married and when we had two incomes coming in we borrowed money at least three times, one of those times was when I made a considerable amount more than I did when we first married.  that bothered me because we had two incomes coming in and if we couldn't make it work with that then we didn't need to buy or pay whatever it was we were borrowing the money for and something bigger was wrong in our finances.

fast forward to today, still married, but now unemployed.  my husband makes only a few pennies more than what he did two years ago because his employer doesn't believe in giving true raises.  during this time we have not once needed to borrow money, we have had people offer to lend us money because they realize what a hardship this is, but we have not asked for any money.  our rent is still paid, may have been late a couple of times.  we still have food to eat everyday, may not be what we really want but we eat.  we still have our vehicle although we have not paid a full car note in five months.  some may ask how is this possible but there is no doubt in my mind at all.

the only way we are still above water, the only reason that we still have the necessities, luxuries and amenities that we have is because we are solely relying on our true source for all and everything we need.  we are relying on God to make all of this happen.  we look to Him for everything and I personally thank Him for this time because it is showing us so much about who He is in general and who He is to us personally.  I thank Him for what He is about to do in our lives because I know that at the end of this journey, at the end of this struggle that I have to honestly say does not always feel like a struggle, He has a blessing for us.  there is a blessing in the lesson. 

He is our provider, our healer, our counselor, our way maker and with Him we can/I can make it through to the end of this situation and walk faithfully into the blessing awaiting me.

The words that I can hang on to and trust are in Matthew 6:25-34 KJV therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.  is not the life more than meat and the body than raiment?  26 behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.  are ye not much better than they?  27 which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?  28 and why take ye thought for raiment?  consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: 29 and yet I say unto you, that even Solomon is all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  30 wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, oh ye of little faith?  31 therefore take no thought, saying, what shall we eat?  or what shall we drink? or wherewithal shall we be clothed?  32 for after all these things do the Gentiles seek: for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.  33 but seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.  34 take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

 

peace and blessings wonderful people!

 

jai ar

Live what you Love

I went downtown today to take care of a little bit of business and decided to stop and grab a bite to eat.  as I was finishing up I was telling myself to head on home so I can get about the business of writing, telling myself to get focused so I can come right in and get started. 

I get on the bus and say to myself I really like having the freedom to do what I want when I want, the freedom to ride around downtown and sightsee if I want, the freedom to think without blockages, the freedom to write, the freedom to be happy in the moment.  as I was thinking about this I was telling myself that I need employment that allows me to be that free all of the time, employment that sustains or exceeds my current financial contribution to my family and allows me to do what I love on a regular basis; writing, photography, mentoring/coaching, encouraging others, studying God's word, design/styling.  the thought comes that God will make a way, if it is God's will He will make this thing possible, whether it's right now or in two years, He will make it happen.  funny thing is I feel it's going to happen soon. 

why do I feel that way because my next "intuitive" thought was, it's going to be a "suddenly" movement, it will happen before you know it.  you know that it took a while for you to get in the place that God wants you in, to get ready for His blessing but this thing is about to happen "suddenly", it will look like no effort went into it at all, like you had not been eagerly waiting for God to do it to those on the outside looking in.

I tell myself to get to writing, no excuses, get it done.  meet the deadline.

shortly after that I move from one seat to another on the bus that brings me closer to the front and I begin looking out of the windows and suddenly I see this slogan "Live what you Love", I instantly see that as confirmation for the just previous spirit self conversation.  if I am doing the things that I love everyday then it will make my living in freedom part so much easier to accomplish.  if I stick to the calling that God has over my life then it will happen; Proverbs 18:16 says that a man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men.  my gift and love of all of the things previously mentioned, as well as others, will make room for me to live that life of freedom because God's word says so, because He promised me it would. 

another part to that intuitive thought was that I will initially have to start this on my own but it will make a way for my husband to eventually join me on the freedom path.  again that is funny to me because that is exactly what is happening, I've started this journey on my own, with my husband's support but not his hands on involvement.  I am totally so excited about the move of God in my life and the things He has already done, is doing and is about to do!

Live what you Love wonderful people!

peace and blessings,
jai ar

In awe

The last week or so has been really amazing, my eyes and ears have been opened when I had no idea they were closed.  On the prayer line visions have been shared, prophecy has been spoken and hearts have been renewed.

I have had a few visions myself that I have not shared with anyone yet because it is not time.  But one of the most recent ones that I can share was an open eye vision,  I call it open eye because I was not asleep.  Some would say that it was more of a thought than vision but there is a difference.   Anyway,  I saw myself preparing to hand out money but before I could I remembered that I needed to ask my husband how much I was supposed to hand out.  I had to ask him because it was actually our money, an abundance of it and I knew that I had to financially bless some people.  That was a beautiful vision.

The contributions for the book have been flowing in and I have actually written one more testimony down myself.  I will probably write one or two more before my deadline.  I am so excited about what God is doing and is about to do with this book, or shall I say series of books.

So many amazing things are about to happen and I am praying my way into preparation.

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai ar

No deadbeats

I have said this before in another social media outlet; if he is not dead, incarcerated or abusive there is no excuse for a father not to play a role in his child's life.  If the father can't do much to contribute financially he can certainly spend time with the child or children, as a matter of fact that's usually what the child wants most anyway.

My mother raised me for the most part in her own, i had three sons and raised them for the most part on my own, i know what it felt like not to have my father around and i hated to see the hearts of my son's break when they realized that their father was not who they thought he was.  It pains me when i see more babies coming into the world and their fathers are not active in their lives.  Women say i am not the first and i won't be the last to raise a baby by myself but my question is; is that an acceptable answer?  The answer is no.  Of course you can not make a person do anything they don't have the mind or will to do but that child is going to eventually ask questions about their father and his family.  Beyond that the mother needs to know that father's, and his family's, medical history because what if this family has a history of mental defect or cancer or skin conditions or allergies or addictions.  I know that sounds like a lot but trust me these are all very important things to know and one of the reasons it used to be mandatory to do a blood test before you got married.

While raising my sons i made sure to have conversations with them regarding how they felt about their dads and the lack of their presence, in those conversations one of the things i would say is now you know how not to do it.  I did that because the conversation was never had with me, my father's absence was never discussed with me and i wanted to be different, i wanted them to know that their feelings, thoughts and opinions did matter.  Ultimately i did not want to raise deadbeat dads, no deadbeats.  One of the other things i did not do is speak bad about their fathers to them or around them, my mother didn't do it when it came to my father and i wasn't going to do it to theirs.  I wanted them to form their own opinions and learn from the example put in front of them.  I refused to raise deadbeats, no deadbeats.

Currently only my oldest has a child and he is very active in his son's life because he wanted to make sure his child did not have the same experience he had.  He is with his son every day and he refuses to let his son's mother deter him from doing his part, his child is his top priority... No deadbeats.

It hurts my soul to see babies without active fathers because that is yet another generation dealing with issues that it shouldn't have to deal with all because the adults in its life couldn't get it together.  No deadbeats.

Fathers stand up and raise your children!  Mothers let that father do his job!

NO DEADBEATS!

Peace and blessings wonderful people,
Jai ar

My weekend 3/14/14

This past weekend was super busy but truly a blessing.   Friday morning I spent time with my paternal grandmother whom I credit for my spiritual foundation.  This woman of God blessed me, we talked about her younger days, family and being saved.  I really enjoyed myself.  That afternoon and early evening I ran some errands and then caught up with an friend/ex-coworker and she used me as her stylist for a function she has coming up.  We had fun.  I spent the rest of the evening with my husband until we got a call from a family member asking for money...sad.  I just prayed for them.

Saturday was a lot of fun because it was the celebration for my grandson's 1st birthday.  He likes spongebob so everything was plastered with that character at the party site.  It was great to have my mom and her mother there because you just don't know how much time anyone has, both of them are ill.  Later that night the hubs and I went shopping and out for a date and he discovered that he liked the vip treatment at the theater.   So funny.

Sunday after church we went grocery shopping,  shopping for out up coming trip and had another date.  We really enjoyed ourselves.  Later in the night I conferenced with my writer's guild and although I was late getting on the call I really enjoyed the session.

I note all of this because family and love are so important and if you don't pay attention you will miss out on loving and receiving love from some of the most important people in your life.  Take the time to pray for them, love them, celebrate and  acknowledge them.

Peace and blessings you wonderful people!

Jai ar

deliverance

I thank God for His deliverance over my life.  I thank Him for being who He is in my life and who He has been in my life, even when I didn't acknowledge Him.

I had to start there before I wrote anything else.  i may have said this before in a previous blog but this bears repeating.  several years ago God charged me to write my life story and i started it but didn't get far.  He has now charged me to write another book, which is in the process, and while i'm pulling that one together i decided to go over my minimal notes from the first book and in reading what i wrote before i have to thank God for deliverance because my mind was so scattered.  i am telling you, the notes within the notes emphasized how unsettled my spirit was.

because my mind was so all over the place i have to start this book over because even though a few sentences make sense, it's just too far all over the place to even think that it can be used in it's entirety.  i thank God that He has kept my mind, i thank Him that He has kept my spirit, that He has kept this gift that He put in me for Him so that i may bring it all to fruition as His vessel.  i thank Him for keeping the blessings He has for me because of this gift, because now that i am being obedient to Him in every thing He tells me to do He is going to release those blessings in abundance.

i love my God, my Savior, my Healer, the lover of my soul and i thank Him for every part of my life and for every lesson it has taught me.

peace and blessings wonderful people!

jai ar

Why would you keep trying to talk to a snake that is trying to bite you?

Why would you keep trying to talk to a snake that is trying to bite you?

I was on the phone with a friend and she and i were talking about some things going on in her present and my past and how her communicating with certain people was not high on her priority list.  I told her i understood and asked "why would you keep talking to a snake that is trying to bite you?".  It is a very valid question because what are you really thinking in the midst of that conversation?  Are you thinking that if you talked enough the snake would change it's mind?  Or if you became it's friend it would decide it liked you too much to harm you?  Not going to happen, that nasty thing, even if it did grow to like you, is going to revert back to what it was inherently put on this earth to do...strike you, dig into your flesh with it's poisonous fangs.

Spiritually speaking, recently i heard that the problem with some Christians is that they refuse to talk to the devil and tell him what they won't take from him anymore.  But my question remains in the same vain; is talking to the devil going to make him give you your stuff back?  I was talking with a sister in Christ a couple of weeks ago and she said to me that when she was in the street doing wrong, if she saw something she wanted she took it and it belonged to her at that point.  The victim coming to her and talking to her about it and asking for their stuff back wasn't going to make her give it back to them, they would have to fight her for it.

Scripture says in Matt 11:12 KJV "and from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.", translated that means that the kingdom has been attacked over and over and violent men have tried to take it.  So i got to thinking about that verse right there and what it meant to me because no one has ever been able to break it down for me and most times i hear it it is being used or twisted to have a positive meaning.   What it says to me is simply this if i want to go to heaven, be a part of the royal family, receive my inheritance i must be just as violent as they were.  When that snake slithers up to you talking to it has to have a purpose because your niceties aren't going to cut it.  You have to proclaim Jesus' word over your life to that snake, you have to shout out God's promises to you and your family and snatch back everything he took from you;  greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world, i am a lender and never a borrower, i am the head and not the tail, for God has not given me the spirit of fear but He has given me power and love and a sound mind, i have never seen the righteous forsaken nor His seed begging bread.

I could go on and on with reinforcements found in God's word but i won't because my point is not only am i speaking His word to the enemy but i am in the process of taking back, violently, all that belongs to me.  I'm not being nice and saying please mr devil can i have my life back, can i have my children back, can i have my finances, sanity, health, marriage, job, friends, family back.  I am saying devil you are a liar and God's word tells me you are and reinforces my knowledge that you have only come to kill, steal and destroy but my God has come so that i may have my life and have it in abundance, pressed down, shaken together and running over into the saucer that is my children , my family, my finances, my life, my health and strength and i am going to fight you kicking screaming and violently punching you in the neck, knocking you down and crushing you under my feet like the vermin you are.

So i ask you good people; why would you keep talking to a snake that is trying to bite you?  Why are you not cutting off his head with God's promises over your life and sending him back to his burning hell under your feet?

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai ar

what are you concerned with?

The bigger question for me to ask is not so much; why are they (haters, outsiders, sideliners) talking so much about you or even me? but it's more; why are you so concerned about what they have to say?

If you are focused on your purpose and walking in it then what others have to say about you should be looked at as free publicity and has the potential to elevate you to your next level. How, you ask. If the person "they" are talking to has a free thinking mind of their own they are not just going by the other person's word, they are going to want to see for themselves and when they see just how positive, blessed and covered you are their positive connects to your positive and you are elevated.


 Stay focused! Peace and blessings GoOD people!

my creativity

I have been creative all of my life, that is, as far back as I can remember.  when I was younger and we were home from school on summer breaks if we weren't made to go to summer school or vacation bible camp or some other thing my mom had for us to do, I would watch tv.  in particular I would watch the soap operas and my favorite was susan lucci as Erica kane, she was the epitome of drama.  I would sit in my room and play act, i'd put on a show by myself and be as dramatic as she was, i'd make myself cry as I dialogued and really enjoyed myself that way.  that's the actor in me.

as I got older I began to draw, mostly faces.  I would take the faces out of magazines and draw them and try to get as close as possible without tracing any portion of the face.  then I began pulling the cartoons out of the paper and drawing them, once I drew the "love is" couple on a pair of jeans.  that's the artist in me.

as I was growing up I used to rearrange the furniture in my bedroom because I got tired of looking at it the same way all of the time.  so as I got older and could move things around without the help of others my room changed from, almost one week to the next.  I have a strong dislike for white walls but we couldn't paint over them so rearranging furniture appeased me.  when my mom didn't complain about it I was happy.  one day I decided to rearrange the living room, my mom and step-dad didn't complain so I made it a regular thing.  they'd go off to work and the living room looked one way, come back home and it looked another.  that's the interior designer in me.

my maternal grandmother sewed all of the time so I learned simple stiches from her.  she also liked to crochet so I learned how to do that as well.  as I was getting into interior design I began to make pillows and sell them or I would make bath salts and buy candles and create gift baskets and sell those.  that's the creator in me.

to cope with life sometimes I would write it started with my journaling as a teenager and then as an adult, it was put on my heart to write my life's story and then another book as well.  I now have this blog and I write as much as I can because it soothes, it heals, it releases.  that's the writer in me.

creativity is in my blood, my dna.  my father is an artist, I have aunts that are artists and authors, cousins who write, draw, create.  my sons are all creative, one used to rap, one is an artist and one sings.  creativity is my soul, my spirit, my life's energy and it bothers me just a little when someone tries to stifle that, hinder that, belittle that and call it nothing or non-important simply because they don't understand it or they don't like it or they don't whatever it.

but it only bothers me a little bit because the bottom line is I was created this way by the ultimate Creator, He put this in me before I began to form.  it rode in on the seed and planted in fertile ground and I was created to be a creator.  my God has already told me that this is me, He has already said to me that this is a part of my calling, He has already ordained me to do this thing and has given me the desire to see it through.  so because of that I am quite content in the creative me that I am because He created me.

what I would ask you to do, you who don't know yet what your gift is, is to ask God blatantly, specifically what it is that He has put in you to do.  then, sit back and listen for His answer.  your gift may not be creativity, it may be the gift of helps or listening or mentoring or organizing or just simply love.  He may have created you to just love on people so that if no one else has shown them love they see it and feel it when they encounter you.  what I would also ask is that you not be jealous of someone else's gift, it's theirs and if it wasn't put in you then it means He wanted you to do something else.  when God reveals your gift to you, walk in it please because each gift plays a role in how this world rotates and each is equally important.

peace and blessing wonderful people!

jai ar

Matthew Deuteronomy and Job

over the last few days I have been reading these three books in the bible; reading about how Jesus knew His fate from the start and went into the crucifixion for us and the resurrection for us.  How Moses had guided the chosen people from Egypt and how they betrayed and angered God during those travels, how Job was so faithful to God that even while tested and his loss he still trusted God for his restoration.

yesterday this statement rested on me; if the one can do it for many why can't the many do it for the one?  now I have to admit that I was initially thinking in a selfish way because i'd spent the entire day at mercy hospital with my grandparents for various reasons.  I was thinking how I am the one that my family relies on to get things done, I am the go to person, if anything needs to be researched or answered they come to me and at times that is a heavy cross to bear because it taps into my immediate family time and my own personal desires.

but this morning as I was reading how Jesus rose from the dead on the third day as He had promised and how Moses had pleaded to God not to destroy the people that he'd led out of Egypt to and subsequently forfeit on His promise to those same people and how Job had still believed God for his restoration although he had lost everything it hit me that the statement was not about me and my selfish thoughts but about Jesus.

God created man to fulfill His desires for man and we failed so He created Jesus.  He created Jesus solely for the purpose of saving our souls that we were so happy to toss in the fire as we formed golden statues to worship.  we who complained about how long it took us to get from point a to point b when in fact we were the cause of the delay.  Jesus took on our sins, took on our illnesses, took on our complaining and doubts and fear and disbelief and He allowed Himself to be betrayed and beaten, He allowed Himself to be hung on that cross between two thieves, He allowed Himself to be ridiculed, mocked and cursed just for the sake of our pitiful souls.

so the question remains; if the One can do it for many why can't the many do it for the One?

peace and blessings wonderful people,

jai ar

Amazed

He is connecting the dots and the image of His Glory is becoming clearer as He moves through my life.   I thank God for the  spirit of obedience. Had I not obeyed His call and assignment I would be in a totally different mental and spiritual mindset.

I am amazed by all of the things that God is showing me, by everything that He is doing.  My excitement is hard to contain!

Several years ago while I was still in my messy state, but easing my way out, God placed on me the assignment of writing a book about my life.  He said that my life will encourage others, it will help them to see that someone else has gone through some tough and treacherous times but I continued to turn to Him for hope and help and made it through.

I started that book and then made the choice to put it down, my thinking was I would wait until the grandparents were gone because they were not aware of all that happened, that I would wait until the kids were older because they would better understand. That excuse satisfied me but not God, He allowed me the reprieve.

Later He put in me the assignment of mentoring/counseling or I should say life coaching but I had convinced myself that I could not do that because I didn't have the education, I didn't have the knowledge.   That excuse satisfied me but not God, He allowed me a slight reprieve.  Not long after He put it back on me and I gave the same excuses, thankfully I was working for a company that would pay fir my education so I a ent back to school thinking that was the solution.  However I then had not time or energy to work on what He wanted me to do.

Let me say this; whatever God wants you to do for His Kingdom, for His Glory, believe me He will make sure you do it.

So because I had no time or energy to give to what God had expressly directed me to do He made sure I no longer had those obstacles and since I have finally gotten an understanding, I finally say yes to whatever He tells me to do things have really been moving in the right direction.

There is so much more to share and I will later.

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai ar

what are you really waiting to hear?

i hear people say all of the time "i'm praying but i don't hear God's answers" or "i'm praying and i don't think God hears me" or "i'm praying but God is not listening" or some variation of that statement.  so i pose these questions to some of those people; what are you really waiting to hear?  are you really trying to hear God?  are you truly open to hear His answer to that/those prayer(s) or are you hoping He gives you the answers you want to hear?

let me help just a little; if the answer you want does not line up with God's plan for you He is not going to line up with it.  we are to fall in line with God and His words over our lives, He is not supposed to line up to our guidelines.  His word says in Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  what does that mean?  it means you become one with God, get to know Him better, develop a relationship with Him, know His word and as you build that relationship you will discover that what He wants for you will become what you want for yourself and He will give you everything you desire in your heart because it lines up with Him.

ex: Lord the megamillions is $300 plus million and i don't want to be gready, i don't need all of it but if you could bless me with $30 million that will allow me to do all of the things i need to do for my family, my church...Lord you know i'll tithe that 10%, for myself.  just bless me Lord.  that's your prayer, your desire, your want but His want may be slightly different.  He may want you to do all of those things but He knows if He gives you that $30 mill right now you won't be able to handle it, you aren't strong enough to ward of the trouble that is going to come with it just yet.  keep in mind that

He doesn't want you in lack but He does want you in line with Him and His plans for your life.
He is the founder and principal, we are the students and the substitute teachers, we are to line up with His lesson plan, His guidelines, His rule.

so i ask again; what are you really waiting to hear?  be honest with yourself because God already knows the answer.

peace and blessings GoOD people!
jai ar
(c)

what it looks like is sometimes different from what it is

a lot of times when people seem not to support you in your dreams, aspirations and/or God given assignments you think it's because they don't believe in you or they are hating on you and in some cases that may very well be true.  however believe it or not a lot of times, especially in the case of love ones, it's fear.  yes, fear.  they are afraid that you will move in your gift, be blessed in your gift and forget all about them, leave them behind.  what you have to do is reassure them, or at least verbalize sincerely, that you will not intentionally mistreat them or forget about them or leave them behind.  the next thing you must do is pray for them, pray that the fear be removed not only the fear that they have of you moving and advancing in your gift but also the fear be removed so that they can move and advance in their own God given assignment.

we all have an assignment and sometimes the size of it or the potential outcome will intimidate us but we have to trust that if it was given by God it will be fueled by God and covered by God and He is not an author of fear, lack or anxiety.

move in your gifts wonderful people and remember that what that thing looks like is sometimes different from what it actually is.  you think people are being non-supportive and hating on your dreams when in actuality is could be that they love you so much and are afraid of losing you to what is about to happen in your life.

peace and blessings beautiful people!

jai ar