Thursday, November 21, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
RIP - Rest In Peace
normally when you see or say this phrase you think of people recently dying; a loved one, a friend or a friend of a friend. with social media being what it is you see a post of a person passing on and you think or say or see RIP, but are you aware that dying or dead people are not the only people that should rest in peace?
think about it, there are several scriptures in the bible pertaining to peace, here are two:
2 Thes 3:16 now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. the Lord be with you all. KJV
and my favorite
Phillipians 4:7 and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus ASV
God is love and God's love brings about peace.
I have gone through so many trials in my life, so many tests that could have broken me and probably has broken a weaker person. in the last five or so years I have been developing a closer relationship to God and it has allowed me to let go of some things from my past and look over some things in my present. it has also allowed me to forgive people that I never thought I could forgive and I forgave them not just for them but for myself as well because there is no way I would be who I am right now if I had not. the anger and hatred and bitterness would have eaten me alive.
on june 30, 1987 I was raped by my mother's then boyfriend and drug supplier, one month after it happened she allowed him to move back into our apartment. shortly after he moved back in I began sleeping at a close family friend's house, I call her my aunt and her kids my cousins. we are not blood related but we were that close. during my senior year of high school we had to go to court and I gave my testimony and he gave his and he lied the whole way through. I was dismissed from the proceedings and my mother later told me the judge threw out the case based on his testimony and the fact that my mother had allowed him to move back in after it happened.
I was devastated and felt betrayed and unloved by his and her actions, but mainly hers because she is my mother. I prepared myself to move out of the apt and move into my grandparent's basement, had the majority of my belongings boxed up and was not sleeping there at all. one day I came home from school and went to my mother's apt, let myself in, dropped some boxes off and walked back out the door. we lived in a high rise at the time that had both a front and back elevator and as I got on the back elevator the cops were getting off of the front elevator, they headed straight for our apt and raided it. they found my rapist there, who was still dealing in drugs, and took him into custody. my aunt's mother in law came rushing into her apt asking where I was and was relieved to see I was there and explained what happened in my mother's apt. he ended up doing some time, but not much.
we all ended up having to move into my grandparent's basement and my mother kept in contact with him. when he got out my grandparents told my mother he was not welcome in their building but that didn't stop her or him. my mother was still deep in her addiction so logical thinking, at the time, was not her strong point. he came by one morning as I was getting ready for school and decided that he wanted to end his life in front of my mother so he shot himself, he did not die. at the time I wished, prayed, hoped that his miserable life had ended. I called the police and explained what happened and they came out. i'm still getting ready for school when the police got there and they began to question me as i'm getting ready. I don't remember exactly what I said to them as they questioned me but I know they got the picture that I cared not one bit about that man's life.
a few years went by, he went to jail again and my mother kept in contact with him. shortly after he was released my mother married him. now i'd graduated high school, started college, got pregnant and had my first child. when she decided to marry him and bring him into our home that I paid bills in I decided it was time for me to move out because there was no way I wanted that man around my child, but sadly I had not enough money to move on my own and none of my friends nor their families would allow me to move in with them so I had to suffer through it until he was no longer in the picture daily. however when he was there the temperature was never mild, one night during an argument I had a butcher knife in my hand and I threatened to kill him and I meant every bit of that threat. he knew I was serious and called the police. they decided the call was unwarranted (one of the cops found me attractive).
years went by, more children were had, a marriage happened, I went back and forth to different schools and jobs and my life went on. several nasty things happened during those years, that's for another post, and I just couldn't cope on my own with it so I called out to Jesus but I was so hard headed and so stuck in my hatred and unforgiveness for those two people that I could not hear a word that the Lord was saying to me. it wasn't until several years and a divorce later that I realized I needed to let go of that poison and let God work on my heart and my life.
when I surrendered to Him and opened myself to hear what He had to say to me the burden had been lifted, the forgiveness poured in. I forgave my mother, I forgave my rapist and I forgave myself. my life since then has not always been easy but living it has been easier now that I know that His peace rests in me. I am resting in His peace. Rest In Peace - RIP.
enjoy life to it's fullest, live it to your complete potential and rest in the awesome Creator's peace that surpasses all of our worldly understanding.
peace and blessings wonderful people!
jai ar
think about it, there are several scriptures in the bible pertaining to peace, here are two:
2 Thes 3:16 now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. the Lord be with you all. KJV
and my favorite
Phillipians 4:7 and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus ASV
God is love and God's love brings about peace.
I have gone through so many trials in my life, so many tests that could have broken me and probably has broken a weaker person. in the last five or so years I have been developing a closer relationship to God and it has allowed me to let go of some things from my past and look over some things in my present. it has also allowed me to forgive people that I never thought I could forgive and I forgave them not just for them but for myself as well because there is no way I would be who I am right now if I had not. the anger and hatred and bitterness would have eaten me alive.
on june 30, 1987 I was raped by my mother's then boyfriend and drug supplier, one month after it happened she allowed him to move back into our apartment. shortly after he moved back in I began sleeping at a close family friend's house, I call her my aunt and her kids my cousins. we are not blood related but we were that close. during my senior year of high school we had to go to court and I gave my testimony and he gave his and he lied the whole way through. I was dismissed from the proceedings and my mother later told me the judge threw out the case based on his testimony and the fact that my mother had allowed him to move back in after it happened.
I was devastated and felt betrayed and unloved by his and her actions, but mainly hers because she is my mother. I prepared myself to move out of the apt and move into my grandparent's basement, had the majority of my belongings boxed up and was not sleeping there at all. one day I came home from school and went to my mother's apt, let myself in, dropped some boxes off and walked back out the door. we lived in a high rise at the time that had both a front and back elevator and as I got on the back elevator the cops were getting off of the front elevator, they headed straight for our apt and raided it. they found my rapist there, who was still dealing in drugs, and took him into custody. my aunt's mother in law came rushing into her apt asking where I was and was relieved to see I was there and explained what happened in my mother's apt. he ended up doing some time, but not much.
we all ended up having to move into my grandparent's basement and my mother kept in contact with him. when he got out my grandparents told my mother he was not welcome in their building but that didn't stop her or him. my mother was still deep in her addiction so logical thinking, at the time, was not her strong point. he came by one morning as I was getting ready for school and decided that he wanted to end his life in front of my mother so he shot himself, he did not die. at the time I wished, prayed, hoped that his miserable life had ended. I called the police and explained what happened and they came out. i'm still getting ready for school when the police got there and they began to question me as i'm getting ready. I don't remember exactly what I said to them as they questioned me but I know they got the picture that I cared not one bit about that man's life.
a few years went by, he went to jail again and my mother kept in contact with him. shortly after he was released my mother married him. now i'd graduated high school, started college, got pregnant and had my first child. when she decided to marry him and bring him into our home that I paid bills in I decided it was time for me to move out because there was no way I wanted that man around my child, but sadly I had not enough money to move on my own and none of my friends nor their families would allow me to move in with them so I had to suffer through it until he was no longer in the picture daily. however when he was there the temperature was never mild, one night during an argument I had a butcher knife in my hand and I threatened to kill him and I meant every bit of that threat. he knew I was serious and called the police. they decided the call was unwarranted (one of the cops found me attractive).
years went by, more children were had, a marriage happened, I went back and forth to different schools and jobs and my life went on. several nasty things happened during those years, that's for another post, and I just couldn't cope on my own with it so I called out to Jesus but I was so hard headed and so stuck in my hatred and unforgiveness for those two people that I could not hear a word that the Lord was saying to me. it wasn't until several years and a divorce later that I realized I needed to let go of that poison and let God work on my heart and my life.
when I surrendered to Him and opened myself to hear what He had to say to me the burden had been lifted, the forgiveness poured in. I forgave my mother, I forgave my rapist and I forgave myself. my life since then has not always been easy but living it has been easier now that I know that His peace rests in me. I am resting in His peace. Rest In Peace - RIP.
enjoy life to it's fullest, live it to your complete potential and rest in the awesome Creator's peace that surpasses all of our worldly understanding.
peace and blessings wonderful people!
jai ar
William Murphy
there are two songs on his latest cd that have me wide open, the first is "it's working" and the second is "already better".
these two songs have moved me through this last month and prepared me for a task I had to do today. I think they have also assisted in the preparation for some things that I have been called to do.
enjoy blessings!
http://youtu.be/2Tnd3m0mvpo
http://youtu.be/CgpQ39Q6190
these two songs have moved me through this last month and prepared me for a task I had to do today. I think they have also assisted in the preparation for some things that I have been called to do.
enjoy blessings!
http://youtu.be/2Tnd3m0mvpo
http://youtu.be/CgpQ39Q6190
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
being an adult vs being grown vs maturity
definitions:
a·dult
[uh-duhlt, ad-uhlt] Show IPA
adjective
1.
2.
of, pertaining to, or befitting adults.
3.
intended for adults; not suitable for children: adult entertainment.
noun
4.
a person who is fully grown or developed or of age.
5.
a full-grown animal or plant.
6.
a person who has attained the age of maturity as specified by law.
grown
[grohn] Show IPA
adjective
1.
2.
r-i-tee, -toor-, -tyoor-, -chur-] Show IPA
ma·tu·ri·ty
[muh-choor-i-tee, -toor-, -tyoor-, -chur-] Show IPA
now let me tell you why those definitions are there. I get so tired of hearing young people between the ages of 21 and 27 saying they are grown, now mind you I have not forgotten that at some point in time that used to be me but if you keep living and paying attention you will learn.
by law when you hit the age of 18 you are considered an adult and the definition states that. by 21 there are some things that you can do as an "adult" legally that you couldn't do as an "adult" at 18. to be considered grown you must have "arrived at full growth or maturity" but to be considered mature you must be of "full development; perfected condition; maturity of judgment". this may all look the same but believe me there is a difference.
at 21 you are legally able to do a lot of things because you are an "adult" but have you arrived at full maturity, do you have the ability to be mature in judgment? if you are then bravo but most are not because they are not aware that there are so many other things; circumstances, situations and decisions that come with being grown and mature that their adult minds, emotions and souls can not handle.
by 21 i'd had one child already and going to school and working, by 24 i'd had my second child and working and living in my own space, by 27 I was married and preparing to deliver my third child. with all of that adult life and grown experiences there were so many things that happened in that time frame that I was not prepared to handle. so many mature things that were too grown for my adult mind to handle. I was not mentally, emotionally or spiritually prepared to take on but you couldn't tell me nothing in the midst of some of it because I was paying bills, going to work, going to school and taking care of my husband and children; in my mind, I was grown. those experiences taught me I hadn't hit that maturity level yet but they helped me get there.
these young people that I get tired of hearing say "i am grown" are doing no more than what I did but they are doing it a little bit differently. they are deciding that there is no one that can teach them or show them any better. they are making some of the same decisions with their bodies and lives that I/we made during that time that their minds are not prepared to take on and but the difference is...there's no remorse. they are not at all sorry for their actions nor the consequences their actions will bring about.
how can this be remedied? it starts with paying attention to what is going on around you and learning from those things, surrounding yourself with people who have your best interest at heart genuinely (there is no hidden agenda), be around people who are positive and don't keep up drama/mess. if you say you are not a messy person then stop hanging around those that are, if you are the messy person, stop the foolishness. when you learn from the experience to do better, then do better. stop making excuses as to why you can not and begin to make reasons for why you can be better. think about things in the long term instead of the short term, this will help you to make better decisions because you will have looked at how it may or may not affect your life or the life of those around you.
lastly, develop a relationship with God and this should actually be first because once you've done this, everything else will fall into place.
peace and blessings beautiful people!
jai ar
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Unemployed and at peace with it
The last few weeks have been an amazing journey of faith, obedience, revelation, patience, confirmation and peace.
A few weeks ago the Holy Spirit laid on me that I would not be at my job much longer and initially I didn't recognize what I was hearing and then shortly after it rested on me again and I realized what was going on and I said ok God I hear you and I receive it, now if I may ask can the next job be closer to home. Just over two weeks ago I took three days off work to attend my church's annual conference I came back to work to find out that I would not have a job much longer however my boss had no idea I knew. later in week i called the director that handled/supported my administrative team and informed him that i was aware that i would no longer be employed and if he could send me the paperwork I would appreciate it. he was not happy that I knew and said he couldn't do anything and was quite uncomfortable with being in the middle now that he was aware.
a little back story; about three months ago I got a new boss because my old one retired one of the first things that was said to me was that they were for work/life balance and I said good. shortly after I got sick and was out for a week, came back and then I had to leave for a family emergency, came back the following week and worked the whole week. the following week I had to assist with a three day conference for work and was out of the office the entire time, came back to the office for a week and then went out for the church's conference.
when my former boss "informed" me that I was being let go I thanked her and explained that it would now allow me to do some things that I needed to do. now that I am no longer employed I can not stay in school because the company was scheduled to pay for the classes.
since then I've had to help my father with his doctor's appointments, support my husband as he was at his sister's side during her medical emergency and just plain relax. i'm sure there will be more opportunities to help family and friends in the near future. relaxing was one of the main reasons that I was ok with being let go, this job, although I enjoyed, was very taxing and time consuming and allowed no time for me to rejuvenate or recharge my battery. I was always tired when I came home, when I left home and it made it difficult for me to concentrate on my spiritual growth.
now I can concentrate on the things that God has given as assignments for me to do. i'll be posting more on that and how it's going later. I love my God, He is so awesome. at the beginning of this year during our new year's service at church I personally prayed for three things; revelation, obedience and restoration. after I prayed that i went to the alter for prayer and asked for the same things and I love that all of those things I prayed for are coming to pass.
as for a new job, i'll have a new job by the beginning of next year.
peace and blessings you wonderful people!
jai ar
a little back story; about three months ago I got a new boss because my old one retired one of the first things that was said to me was that they were for work/life balance and I said good. shortly after I got sick and was out for a week, came back and then I had to leave for a family emergency, came back the following week and worked the whole week. the following week I had to assist with a three day conference for work and was out of the office the entire time, came back to the office for a week and then went out for the church's conference.
when my former boss "informed" me that I was being let go I thanked her and explained that it would now allow me to do some things that I needed to do. now that I am no longer employed I can not stay in school because the company was scheduled to pay for the classes.
since then I've had to help my father with his doctor's appointments, support my husband as he was at his sister's side during her medical emergency and just plain relax. i'm sure there will be more opportunities to help family and friends in the near future. relaxing was one of the main reasons that I was ok with being let go, this job, although I enjoyed, was very taxing and time consuming and allowed no time for me to rejuvenate or recharge my battery. I was always tired when I came home, when I left home and it made it difficult for me to concentrate on my spiritual growth.
now I can concentrate on the things that God has given as assignments for me to do. i'll be posting more on that and how it's going later. I love my God, He is so awesome. at the beginning of this year during our new year's service at church I personally prayed for three things; revelation, obedience and restoration. after I prayed that i went to the alter for prayer and asked for the same things and I love that all of those things I prayed for are coming to pass.
as for a new job, i'll have a new job by the beginning of next year.
peace and blessings you wonderful people!
jai ar
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