No deadbeats

I have said this before in another social media outlet; if he is not dead, incarcerated or abusive there is no excuse for a father not to play a role in his child's life.  If the father can't do much to contribute financially he can certainly spend time with the child or children, as a matter of fact that's usually what the child wants most anyway.

My mother raised me for the most part in her own, i had three sons and raised them for the most part on my own, i know what it felt like not to have my father around and i hated to see the hearts of my son's break when they realized that their father was not who they thought he was.  It pains me when i see more babies coming into the world and their fathers are not active in their lives.  Women say i am not the first and i won't be the last to raise a baby by myself but my question is; is that an acceptable answer?  The answer is no.  Of course you can not make a person do anything they don't have the mind or will to do but that child is going to eventually ask questions about their father and his family.  Beyond that the mother needs to know that father's, and his family's, medical history because what if this family has a history of mental defect or cancer or skin conditions or allergies or addictions.  I know that sounds like a lot but trust me these are all very important things to know and one of the reasons it used to be mandatory to do a blood test before you got married.

While raising my sons i made sure to have conversations with them regarding how they felt about their dads and the lack of their presence, in those conversations one of the things i would say is now you know how not to do it.  I did that because the conversation was never had with me, my father's absence was never discussed with me and i wanted to be different, i wanted them to know that their feelings, thoughts and opinions did matter.  Ultimately i did not want to raise deadbeat dads, no deadbeats.  One of the other things i did not do is speak bad about their fathers to them or around them, my mother didn't do it when it came to my father and i wasn't going to do it to theirs.  I wanted them to form their own opinions and learn from the example put in front of them.  I refused to raise deadbeats, no deadbeats.

Currently only my oldest has a child and he is very active in his son's life because he wanted to make sure his child did not have the same experience he had.  He is with his son every day and he refuses to let his son's mother deter him from doing his part, his child is his top priority... No deadbeats.

It hurts my soul to see babies without active fathers because that is yet another generation dealing with issues that it shouldn't have to deal with all because the adults in its life couldn't get it together.  No deadbeats.

Fathers stand up and raise your children!  Mothers let that father do his job!

NO DEADBEATS!

Peace and blessings wonderful people,
Jai ar

My weekend 3/14/14

This past weekend was super busy but truly a blessing.   Friday morning I spent time with my paternal grandmother whom I credit for my spiritual foundation.  This woman of God blessed me, we talked about her younger days, family and being saved.  I really enjoyed myself.  That afternoon and early evening I ran some errands and then caught up with an friend/ex-coworker and she used me as her stylist for a function she has coming up.  We had fun.  I spent the rest of the evening with my husband until we got a call from a family member asking for money...sad.  I just prayed for them.

Saturday was a lot of fun because it was the celebration for my grandson's 1st birthday.  He likes spongebob so everything was plastered with that character at the party site.  It was great to have my mom and her mother there because you just don't know how much time anyone has, both of them are ill.  Later that night the hubs and I went shopping and out for a date and he discovered that he liked the vip treatment at the theater.   So funny.

Sunday after church we went grocery shopping,  shopping for out up coming trip and had another date.  We really enjoyed ourselves.  Later in the night I conferenced with my writer's guild and although I was late getting on the call I really enjoyed the session.

I note all of this because family and love are so important and if you don't pay attention you will miss out on loving and receiving love from some of the most important people in your life.  Take the time to pray for them, love them, celebrate and  acknowledge them.

Peace and blessings you wonderful people!

Jai ar

deliverance

I thank God for His deliverance over my life.  I thank Him for being who He is in my life and who He has been in my life, even when I didn't acknowledge Him.

I had to start there before I wrote anything else.  i may have said this before in a previous blog but this bears repeating.  several years ago God charged me to write my life story and i started it but didn't get far.  He has now charged me to write another book, which is in the process, and while i'm pulling that one together i decided to go over my minimal notes from the first book and in reading what i wrote before i have to thank God for deliverance because my mind was so scattered.  i am telling you, the notes within the notes emphasized how unsettled my spirit was.

because my mind was so all over the place i have to start this book over because even though a few sentences make sense, it's just too far all over the place to even think that it can be used in it's entirety.  i thank God that He has kept my mind, i thank Him that He has kept my spirit, that He has kept this gift that He put in me for Him so that i may bring it all to fruition as His vessel.  i thank Him for keeping the blessings He has for me because of this gift, because now that i am being obedient to Him in every thing He tells me to do He is going to release those blessings in abundance.

i love my God, my Savior, my Healer, the lover of my soul and i thank Him for every part of my life and for every lesson it has taught me.

peace and blessings wonderful people!

jai ar

Why would you keep trying to talk to a snake that is trying to bite you?

Why would you keep trying to talk to a snake that is trying to bite you?

I was on the phone with a friend and she and i were talking about some things going on in her present and my past and how her communicating with certain people was not high on her priority list.  I told her i understood and asked "why would you keep talking to a snake that is trying to bite you?".  It is a very valid question because what are you really thinking in the midst of that conversation?  Are you thinking that if you talked enough the snake would change it's mind?  Or if you became it's friend it would decide it liked you too much to harm you?  Not going to happen, that nasty thing, even if it did grow to like you, is going to revert back to what it was inherently put on this earth to do...strike you, dig into your flesh with it's poisonous fangs.

Spiritually speaking, recently i heard that the problem with some Christians is that they refuse to talk to the devil and tell him what they won't take from him anymore.  But my question remains in the same vain; is talking to the devil going to make him give you your stuff back?  I was talking with a sister in Christ a couple of weeks ago and she said to me that when she was in the street doing wrong, if she saw something she wanted she took it and it belonged to her at that point.  The victim coming to her and talking to her about it and asking for their stuff back wasn't going to make her give it back to them, they would have to fight her for it.

Scripture says in Matt 11:12 KJV "and from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.", translated that means that the kingdom has been attacked over and over and violent men have tried to take it.  So i got to thinking about that verse right there and what it meant to me because no one has ever been able to break it down for me and most times i hear it it is being used or twisted to have a positive meaning.   What it says to me is simply this if i want to go to heaven, be a part of the royal family, receive my inheritance i must be just as violent as they were.  When that snake slithers up to you talking to it has to have a purpose because your niceties aren't going to cut it.  You have to proclaim Jesus' word over your life to that snake, you have to shout out God's promises to you and your family and snatch back everything he took from you;  greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world, i am a lender and never a borrower, i am the head and not the tail, for God has not given me the spirit of fear but He has given me power and love and a sound mind, i have never seen the righteous forsaken nor His seed begging bread.

I could go on and on with reinforcements found in God's word but i won't because my point is not only am i speaking His word to the enemy but i am in the process of taking back, violently, all that belongs to me.  I'm not being nice and saying please mr devil can i have my life back, can i have my children back, can i have my finances, sanity, health, marriage, job, friends, family back.  I am saying devil you are a liar and God's word tells me you are and reinforces my knowledge that you have only come to kill, steal and destroy but my God has come so that i may have my life and have it in abundance, pressed down, shaken together and running over into the saucer that is my children , my family, my finances, my life, my health and strength and i am going to fight you kicking screaming and violently punching you in the neck, knocking you down and crushing you under my feet like the vermin you are.

So i ask you good people; why would you keep talking to a snake that is trying to bite you?  Why are you not cutting off his head with God's promises over your life and sending him back to his burning hell under your feet?

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai ar

what are you concerned with?

The bigger question for me to ask is not so much; why are they (haters, outsiders, sideliners) talking so much about you or even me? but it's more; why are you so concerned about what they have to say?

If you are focused on your purpose and walking in it then what others have to say about you should be looked at as free publicity and has the potential to elevate you to your next level. How, you ask. If the person "they" are talking to has a free thinking mind of their own they are not just going by the other person's word, they are going to want to see for themselves and when they see just how positive, blessed and covered you are their positive connects to your positive and you are elevated.


 Stay focused! Peace and blessings GoOD people!

my creativity

I have been creative all of my life, that is, as far back as I can remember.  when I was younger and we were home from school on summer breaks if we weren't made to go to summer school or vacation bible camp or some other thing my mom had for us to do, I would watch tv.  in particular I would watch the soap operas and my favorite was susan lucci as Erica kane, she was the epitome of drama.  I would sit in my room and play act, i'd put on a show by myself and be as dramatic as she was, i'd make myself cry as I dialogued and really enjoyed myself that way.  that's the actor in me.

as I got older I began to draw, mostly faces.  I would take the faces out of magazines and draw them and try to get as close as possible without tracing any portion of the face.  then I began pulling the cartoons out of the paper and drawing them, once I drew the "love is" couple on a pair of jeans.  that's the artist in me.

as I was growing up I used to rearrange the furniture in my bedroom because I got tired of looking at it the same way all of the time.  so as I got older and could move things around without the help of others my room changed from, almost one week to the next.  I have a strong dislike for white walls but we couldn't paint over them so rearranging furniture appeased me.  when my mom didn't complain about it I was happy.  one day I decided to rearrange the living room, my mom and step-dad didn't complain so I made it a regular thing.  they'd go off to work and the living room looked one way, come back home and it looked another.  that's the interior designer in me.

my maternal grandmother sewed all of the time so I learned simple stiches from her.  she also liked to crochet so I learned how to do that as well.  as I was getting into interior design I began to make pillows and sell them or I would make bath salts and buy candles and create gift baskets and sell those.  that's the creator in me.

to cope with life sometimes I would write it started with my journaling as a teenager and then as an adult, it was put on my heart to write my life's story and then another book as well.  I now have this blog and I write as much as I can because it soothes, it heals, it releases.  that's the writer in me.

creativity is in my blood, my dna.  my father is an artist, I have aunts that are artists and authors, cousins who write, draw, create.  my sons are all creative, one used to rap, one is an artist and one sings.  creativity is my soul, my spirit, my life's energy and it bothers me just a little when someone tries to stifle that, hinder that, belittle that and call it nothing or non-important simply because they don't understand it or they don't like it or they don't whatever it.

but it only bothers me a little bit because the bottom line is I was created this way by the ultimate Creator, He put this in me before I began to form.  it rode in on the seed and planted in fertile ground and I was created to be a creator.  my God has already told me that this is me, He has already said to me that this is a part of my calling, He has already ordained me to do this thing and has given me the desire to see it through.  so because of that I am quite content in the creative me that I am because He created me.

what I would ask you to do, you who don't know yet what your gift is, is to ask God blatantly, specifically what it is that He has put in you to do.  then, sit back and listen for His answer.  your gift may not be creativity, it may be the gift of helps or listening or mentoring or organizing or just simply love.  He may have created you to just love on people so that if no one else has shown them love they see it and feel it when they encounter you.  what I would also ask is that you not be jealous of someone else's gift, it's theirs and if it wasn't put in you then it means He wanted you to do something else.  when God reveals your gift to you, walk in it please because each gift plays a role in how this world rotates and each is equally important.

peace and blessing wonderful people!

jai ar

Matthew Deuteronomy and Job

over the last few days I have been reading these three books in the bible; reading about how Jesus knew His fate from the start and went into the crucifixion for us and the resurrection for us.  How Moses had guided the chosen people from Egypt and how they betrayed and angered God during those travels, how Job was so faithful to God that even while tested and his loss he still trusted God for his restoration.

yesterday this statement rested on me; if the one can do it for many why can't the many do it for the one?  now I have to admit that I was initially thinking in a selfish way because i'd spent the entire day at mercy hospital with my grandparents for various reasons.  I was thinking how I am the one that my family relies on to get things done, I am the go to person, if anything needs to be researched or answered they come to me and at times that is a heavy cross to bear because it taps into my immediate family time and my own personal desires.

but this morning as I was reading how Jesus rose from the dead on the third day as He had promised and how Moses had pleaded to God not to destroy the people that he'd led out of Egypt to and subsequently forfeit on His promise to those same people and how Job had still believed God for his restoration although he had lost everything it hit me that the statement was not about me and my selfish thoughts but about Jesus.

God created man to fulfill His desires for man and we failed so He created Jesus.  He created Jesus solely for the purpose of saving our souls that we were so happy to toss in the fire as we formed golden statues to worship.  we who complained about how long it took us to get from point a to point b when in fact we were the cause of the delay.  Jesus took on our sins, took on our illnesses, took on our complaining and doubts and fear and disbelief and He allowed Himself to be betrayed and beaten, He allowed Himself to be hung on that cross between two thieves, He allowed Himself to be ridiculed, mocked and cursed just for the sake of our pitiful souls.

so the question remains; if the One can do it for many why can't the many do it for the One?

peace and blessings wonderful people,

jai ar