where would i be?

it's been a rough and sickly past week and a half but i am still grateful for all that comes my way. my bad times help me to appreciate more my good times. i woke up this morning with smokie's song in my head and it comforted me. this happens a lot, i may be going through some trying times or i've had a bad dream and i will wake up with one of my favorite inspirational/gospel songs in my head and it just makes things better. my belief is that it is the Creator letting me know he still has me covered and all will be alright.

so i say in faith that it will get better; my family will be protected, our home will not be taken from us, my employment situation will get better, my finances will improve and all that is suppose to be well but isn't right now will be well and soon.

this day was given to you so go enjoy it in a wonderful and safe way.

peace and blessing beautiful people.

Smokie Norful-Where would i be

sick

being sick for a couple of days and i just have to say, being sick is boring. i'm used to being up and active, busy running errands. i've been in bed for two freaking days with absolutely nothing interesting on tv to watch and can't talk on the phone because i have no voice and to top it off being creative is null because i'm sick and my creative juices are not flowing at all.

ugh, frustrating as all get out!!!

I'm Tired

i wrote this about a month or so ago and i'm feeling a bit like this again today. i lot of times when i write encouraging things i'm doing it to uplift myself and if someone else feels uplifted by it then that's great too.

I’m tired
I’m tired of being sick and tired of being tired
Stop speaking in lack; speak those things that are not
As though they are
If you keep saying I don’t have the money, soon you will
Believe that you will never have the money
If you keep saying that I can’t do, soon you will believe
That you will never do
Understanding that times are hard and resources may
Be limited you still must trust and believe that all
Of your needs will be met for He is not the Creator of lack
But the provider of abundance and abundance the more
Your cup shall overflow to the point of near drowning
Understand who you are, Who’s you are and why you are here
Fulfill your life’s purpose, find your passion and all your hearts
Desires shall be yours in His time
Live, love, laugh, pray, praise, rejoice!©

Jai Bu

Spoken Words

friday evening i attended a spoken word event, not my first, but definately my most interesting because i actually shared some of my own poetry. it felt great! i don't normally share my work with others in person because all of it is inspired by a person or event in my life and because my circle of friends is so small they will almost automatically know what or who i'm speaking on. this group of people though is a new creative group of people that i have formed a new connection with and they have really no idea who i'm speaking about. it was a great surprise for most of them because they had no idea i wrote poetry.

the young lady that was hosting the event was very happy i was speaking but was shocked by the content. i'm an open minded person and very comfortable with my sexuality and my emotional health so i read two pieces, both intimate but one very sexual and the other more emotionally intense and it stunned her and the audience (she didn't tell me that a lot of them were from her church) but they all enjoyed the work and though most of the artists before and after me spoke more on the spiritual realm they enjoyed my pieces.

i think i'll share more of me with them.

peace and blessings!

Special Event

i went to a wonderful formal event on thursday evening and encountered some fabulous people. some of which i was familiar with because i'd seen them in a few things and some from working with them. most everyone was dressed in the requested formal attire, some were semi-formal but overall everyone looked really good. however, there was this one young lady that was dressed a bit less than appropriate; the back was basically all out, the front was cut super low and the skirt portion was so high that i have no idea how she was able to sit down without showing all of her goods. to top it off, she was visibly uncomfortable because everyone else was dressed so much more appropriately. i just wanted to hug her and say sister don't every sell yourself short, don't ever think that less will automatically equal more, don't ever think that if a man sees you in an outfit such as this that he's going to think quality woman, have more respect for yourself, but the more i wanted to do that the more i listened to myself and realized that i would come across as critical and not helpful, so i said nothing. i don't like that i said nothing because i feel that it was an opportunity to pull another sister up and i didn't.

also while at this event i ran into two young ladies (two seperate instances) wearing wigs, which actually looked really nice on them. now i wear wigs from time to time so i have nothing bad to say about their wigs but it is important that i mention them because i have for the last 6 months or so worn my hair bald or very close to bald and this is how i wore it thursday and both women complimented me on the fact that i wore my hair that way and wished they had the courage to do the same. they both confessed to me that they were battling cancer and their hair loss was the result of chemo so i told them both to keep fighting that strong fight and wear their hair bald or low, if you have the courage and will to fight this illness you have every right to wear your bald head as a badge. they both said they would try but it may take them some time, one of them said that she had a nice shaped head like mine but her hair was growing in splotches, i said hun shave that hair off and wear it bald, don't be ashamed. she then proceeded to say she wasn't sure she had the courage yet and she was sure i was just wearing mine for fashions sake. so of course i proceeded to explain to her that it had nothing to do with fashion, i cut my hair off for a couple of reasons; 1. it was falling out in patches and it was difficult to hide the spots and 2. because i have lost family members to cancer and have family members still fighting the good fight. so fashion had nothing to do with it. she felt better after that and said the next time i saw her she would be sporting her bald head. good for you sister, good for you!

take every opportunity to build a person up and not tear them down, every chance to encourage someone not discourage, be a blessing to others not a burden.

peace and blessings wonderful people.

so i had this procedure called cryoablation done today; it's the freezing (cryo) of the uterine lining used to dramatically reduce, if not eliminate, the monthly shedding of the uterine lining. in layman's terms it reduces or eliminates the "period" and i had to have this done for a couple of reasons: 1. i'm anemic and 2. i was having a cycle two to three times a month, one of which was extremely heavy. those two don't mix.

i chose this fairly new process because the alternative was a hystorectomy and major surgery is not on my agenda. the pain thus far is not too bad, and the meds are helping with that. the procedure is fairly invasive, think about getting your yearly exam and multiply it by 7. intense right? well it is, i literally shook from head to toe during the majority of the procedure and at one point lifted myself off the exam table from the pain but i tell you, in the end it's all worth it.

i'll journal on this as i go along because it will be 2 weeks of no intercourse, 4 weeks to see my gyne and about 6 weeks of complete recovery.

please do intense research before you consider a solution like this, know all that you can about it before you bring the option to your doc.