journaling

i have been looking through my old journal that i started back in 2005 and i have to say i am amazed by the growth.  i am not even a third of the way through it but i noticed an affirmation that has been throughout what i have read so far:

i will succeed
i am successful
i create success

this is not mine but God's creation

i can't wait to read more and see what other growth moments and affirmations i can find.

reflections

sometimes when we call out things in others we don't like it's a reflection of ourselves; things we see in us that we don't like.

what we could/should do when we notice those things in others is stop, be honest with ourselves about ourselves and ask God is this really about them or is it about me. ask God to show you if it's really you.  if He says it is then ask Him to do two things; 1. remove it from you and 2. make you more patient with the other person until they see it in themselves.  you bind up that spirit and hand it to God and he'll take it from there.

peace and blessings wonderful people!

jai ar

Qoute - Dreams

dreams pushed forward and impossibly achieved by an undying spirit and those things dreamed of.~jai ar

children

children

if you never let them hit the floor how will they learn to pick themselves up

if you never let them make decisions how will they learn the decision making process

if you always tell them yes how will they ever handle no

 

if you don't discipline them how will they learn responsibility

jai ar

it's funny how...

it's funny how the atmospere can change depending upon the energy that's introduced to it; positive or negative.  it's funny how a grain of doubt can destroy just as much as a grain of faith can uplift.  it's funny how no matter how much you love someone it doesn't matter if they don't love themselves.  hmmm, yeah, it's funny how...

jai ar

Admitting you are who you are

Once you admit who you are without Him you can begin moving in who you are in Him.  Be honest with yourself and confess who you have become without Him.  He is already aware of who you are, the confession is not for Him it is for you, it is a part of the cleansing process.  It allows you to accept responsibility for your actions and take responsibility for your salvation. The next step is forgiveness; ask Him for forgiveness and then forgive yourself for what you have done to yourself and to others.  Open yourself to hear Him when He speaks to you and then ask Him for your purpose and then live and walk in that purpose.

We sometimes forget that we must first confess after accepting Christ as our Savior and then we forget that we must forgive, ourselves and others.  When Gid tugs on your heart you have to answer it. He will knock and you must answer that knock because He will not force His way in.  Once He is in you must begin the cleansing process; acceptance, confession, forgiveness, purpose, discipleship.

Remember He lives you so much.

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai Ar

the light gets brighter

this morning while on my prayer call we were led to this verse:  Matthew 18:20 "for where there are two or three gathered together in name, there am I in the midst of them" KJV

what came to my heart/spirit immediately is the image of individual lights turning on and as they come on one by one they make the area brighter.  Psalm 119:105 says "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path" KJV

God is light, He brings light, His life and word are light.  He is in us, He lives and dwells in us and as we continue to open ourselves to Him we are each individually, light sources.  As we continue to connect with likeminded spirits, followers (true followers) of Christ and as we continue to grow in Him and He in us, we bring our lights together and with each light that enters into the space the darkness dissipates (goes away) and the light gets brighter.  I said on the call this morning that this particular group of women/sisters/believers of and in Christ is a force to be reckoned with and we are going to shine so bright that those who do not believe will have to wear shades at night.

The next year is about to be one of our greatest years, God is about to do some awesome things in our lives as individuals and collectively because He has already started the work in the last quarter of this year, or should I say we have finally been obedient in starting the work He has given us.

I love what God is doing and is about to do in my life and the lives of those that I am connected with and I pray that He opens me up and strengthens my spirit of discernment, wisdom and obedience so that when the time comes I will know who is not of Him, I will know what to do with and for them and I will follow His every instruction.  My God is so awesome.

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai Ar 

Gratitude

this morning while in prayer what rested on my soul was "gratitude". I heard in the Spirit that every prayer must start with gratitude/thanks. now I know must of us, if not all of us, do this anyway but this was my specific assignment and i'm sharing it with you.

God said that every prayer must start with gratitude and thanksgiving and not just because He wants to hear it but because in that gratitude we may find the answer for the very thing that we were going to ask God for.

if we go down that list of things that we are grateful for we may find that thing we were going to ask for. example; you are thankful for a roof and the abundance of food and clothing but you were going to ask God to provide for the need of a friend because they need clothes or food or ...shelter, well you've got the answer to your request right there in your storehouse.

you thank God for peace of mind, a job, your strength and patience and then in the next breath you are asking that He do a new thing on your job and work on a particular co-worker because they are trying your patience, they are challenging the Jesus in you. well you just thanked Him for peace of mind so tap into that peace, you just thanked Him for strength and patience so tap into His source for you because He placed you there, possibly, to be that resource for the co-worker.

so before you place another request in the "God I Need" box look through your "God I Have Already & I Thank You" box.

peace and blessing wonderful people!

jai ar

Wells

He is the potter we are the clay.


We are all vessels, wells and God pours His living waters into us so that we may thirst no more.  So that we have the life He ordained for us to have, so that we may feed others from that same well and refresh their spirits.  therefore we can not allow others to poison/contaminate our wells with their negativity, with their ignorance or stupidity, with their baggage or rocks.  We have to stand on His word for our lives and quench the thirst of our loved ones and those open to hear His word, we have to and are pouring into them.  Power or poison, life or death, pure or contaminated, the choice is ours and know that it not only affects us but it infects others. ~ jai ar


Peace and blessings awesome people,

jai ar

Fantasia Total Praise Video

Kirk Franklin - Hello Fear

RIP - Rest In Peace

normally when you see or say this phrase you think of people recently dying; a loved one, a friend or a friend of a friend.  with social media being what it is you see a post of a person passing on and you think or say or see RIP, but are you aware that dying or dead people are not the only people that should rest in peace?

think about it, there are several scriptures in the bible pertaining to peace, here are two:

2 Thes 3:16 now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means.  the Lord be with you all. KJV

and my favorite

Phillipians 4:7 and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus ASV

God is love and God's love brings about peace.

I have gone through so many trials in my life, so many tests that could have broken me and probably has broken a weaker person.  in the last five or so years I have been developing a closer relationship to God and it has allowed me to let go of some things from my past and look over some things in my present.  it has also allowed me to forgive people that I never thought I could forgive and I forgave them not just for them but for myself as well because there is no way I would be who I am right now if I had not.  the anger and hatred and bitterness would have eaten me alive.

on june 30, 1987 I was raped by my mother's then boyfriend and drug supplier, one month after it happened she allowed him to move back into our apartment.  shortly after he moved back in I began sleeping at a close family friend's house, I call her my aunt and her kids my cousins.  we are not blood related but we were that close.  during my senior year of high school we had to go to court and I gave my testimony and he gave his and he lied the whole way through.  I was dismissed from the proceedings and my mother later told me the judge threw out the case based on his testimony and the fact that my mother had allowed him to move back in after it happened.

I was devastated and felt betrayed and unloved by his and her actions, but mainly hers because she is my mother.  I prepared myself to move out of the apt and move into my grandparent's basement, had the majority of my belongings boxed up and was not sleeping there at all. one day I came home from school and went to my mother's apt, let myself in, dropped some boxes off and walked back out the door.  we lived in a high rise at the time that had both a front and back elevator and as I got on the back elevator the cops were getting off of the front elevator, they headed straight for our apt and raided it.  they found my rapist there, who was still dealing in drugs, and took him into custody.  my aunt's mother in law came rushing into her apt asking where I was and was relieved to see I was there and explained what happened in my mother's apt.  he ended up doing some time, but not much.

we all ended up having to move into my grandparent's basement and my mother kept in contact with him.  when he got out my grandparents told my mother he was not welcome in their building but that didn't stop her or him.  my mother was still deep in her addiction so logical thinking, at the time, was not her strong point.  he came by one morning as I was getting ready for school and decided that he wanted to end his life in front of my mother so he shot himself, he did not die.  at the time I wished, prayed, hoped that his miserable life had ended.  I called the police and explained what happened and they came out.  i'm still getting ready for school when the police got there and they began to question me as i'm getting ready.  I don't remember exactly what I said to them as they questioned me but I know they got the picture that I cared not one bit about that man's life.

a few years went by, he went to jail again and my mother kept in contact with him.  shortly after he was released my mother married him.  now i'd graduated high school, started college, got pregnant and had my first child.  when she decided to marry him and bring him into our home that I paid bills in I decided it was time for me to move out because there was no way I wanted that man around my child, but sadly I had not enough money to move on my own and none of my friends nor their families would allow me to move in with them so I had to suffer through it until he was no longer in the picture daily.  however when he was there the temperature was never mild, one night during an argument I had a butcher knife in my hand and I threatened to kill him and I meant every bit of that threat.  he knew I was serious and called the police.  they decided the call was unwarranted (one of the cops found me attractive).

years went by, more children were had, a marriage happened, I went back and forth to different schools and jobs and my life went on.  several nasty things happened during those years, that's for another post, and I just couldn't cope on my own with it so I called out to Jesus but I was so hard headed and so stuck in my hatred and unforgiveness for those two people that I could not hear a word that the Lord was saying to me.  it wasn't until several years and a divorce later that I realized I needed to let go of that poison and let God work on my heart and my life.

when I surrendered to Him and opened myself to hear what He had to say to me the burden had been lifted, the forgiveness poured in.  I forgave my mother, I forgave my rapist and I forgave myself.  my life since then has not always been easy but living it has been easier now that I know that His peace rests in me.  I am resting in His peace.  Rest In Peace - RIP.

enjoy life to it's fullest, live it to your complete potential and rest in the awesome Creator's peace that surpasses all of our worldly understanding.

peace and blessings wonderful people!

jai ar

William Murphy - Already Getting Better

William Murphy It's working

William Murphy

there are two songs on his latest cd that have me wide open, the first is "it's working" and the second is "already better".

these two songs have moved me through this last month and prepared me for a task I had to do today.  I think they have also assisted in the preparation for some things that I have been called to do.

enjoy blessings!

http://youtu.be/2Tnd3m0mvpo



http://youtu.be/CgpQ39Q6190

being an adult vs being grown vs maturity

definitions:

a·dult

/əˈdʌlt, ˈædʌlt/ Show Spelled [uh-duhlt, ad-uhlt] Show IPA

adjective

1.

having attained full size and strength; grown up; mature: an adult person, animal, or plant.

2.

of, pertaining to, or befitting adults.

3.

intended for adults; not suitable for children: adult entertainment.

noun

4.

a person who is fully grown or developed or of age.

5.

a full-grown animal or plant.

6.

a person who has attained the age of maturity as specified by law.

 

grown

/groʊn/ Show Spelled [grohn] Show IPA

adjective

1.

advanced in growth: a grown boy.

2.

arrived at full growth or maturity; adult: a grown man.

 

ma·tu·ri·ty

/məˈtʃʊərɪti, -ˈtʊər-, -ˈtyʊər-, -ˈtʃɜr-/ Show Spelled [muh-choor-i-tee, -toor-, -tyoor-, -chur-] Show IPA

noun

1.

the state of being mature; ripeness: The fruit will reach maturity in a few days.

2.

full development; perfected condition: maturity of judgment; to bring a plan to maturity.

3.

Finance.

a.

the state of being due.

b.

the time when a note or bill of exchange becomes due.

 

/məˈtʊər, -ˈtyʊər, -ˈtʃʊər, -ˈtʃɜr/ Show Spelled

now let me tell you why those definitions are there.  I get so tired of hearing young people between the ages of 21 and 27 saying they are grown, now mind you I have not forgotten that at some point in time that used to be me but if you keep living and paying attention you will learn. 

 

by law when you hit the age of 18 you are considered an adult and the definition states that.  by 21 there are some things that you can do as an "adult" legally that you couldn't do as an "adult" at 18.  to be considered grown you must have "arrived at full growth or maturity" but to be considered mature you must be of "full development; perfected condition; maturity of judgment".  this may all look the same but believe me there is a difference.

 

at 21 you are legally able to do a lot of things because you are an "adult" but have you arrived at full maturity, do you have the ability to be mature in judgment?  if you are then bravo but most are not because they are not aware that there are so many other things; circumstances, situations and decisions that come with being grown and mature that their adult minds, emotions and souls can not handle.

 

by 21 i'd had one child already and going to school and working, by 24 i'd had my second child and working and living in my own space, by 27 I was married and preparing to deliver my third child.  with all of that adult life and grown experiences there were so many things that happened in that time frame that I was not prepared to handle.  so many mature things that were too grown for my adult mind to handle.  I was not mentally, emotionally or spiritually prepared to take on but you couldn't tell me nothing in the midst of some of it because I was paying bills, going to work, going to school and taking care of my husband and children; in my mind, I was grown.  those experiences taught me I hadn't hit that maturity level yet but they helped me get there.

 

these young people that I get tired of hearing say "i am grown" are doing no more than what I did but they are doing it a little bit differently.  they are deciding that there is no one that can teach them or show them any better.  they are making some of the same decisions with their bodies and lives that I/we made during that time that their minds are not prepared to take on and but the difference is...there's no remorse.  they are not at all sorry for their actions nor the consequences their actions will bring about.

 

how can this be remedied?  it starts with paying attention to what is going on around you and learning from those things, surrounding yourself with people who have your best interest at heart genuinely (there is no hidden agenda), be around people who are positive and don't keep up drama/mess.  if you say you are not a messy person then stop hanging around those that are, if you are the messy person, stop the foolishness.  when you learn from the experience to do better, then do better.  stop making excuses as to why you can not and begin to make reasons for why you can be better.  think about things in the long term instead of the short term, this will help you to make better decisions because you will have looked at how it may or may not affect your life or the life of those around you.

 

lastly, develop a relationship with God and this should actually be first because once you've done this, everything else will fall into place.

 

peace and blessings beautiful people!

 

jai ar

 

Unemployed and at peace with it

The last few weeks have been an amazing journey of faith, obedience, revelation, patience, confirmation and peace.

A few weeks ago the Holy Spirit laid on me that I would not be at my job much longer and initially I didn't recognize what I was hearing and then shortly after it rested on me again and I realized what was going on and I said ok God I hear you and I receive it, now if I may ask can the next job be closer to home.  Just over two weeks ago I took three days off work to attend my church's annual conference I came back to work to find out that I would not have a job much longer however my boss had no idea I knew.  later in week i called the director that handled/supported my administrative team and informed him that i was aware that i would no longer be employed and if he could send me the paperwork I would appreciate it.  he was not happy that I knew and said he couldn't do anything and was quite uncomfortable with being in the middle now that he was aware.

a little back story; about three months ago I got a new boss because my old one retired one of the first things that was said to me was that they were for work/life balance and I said good.  shortly after I got sick and was out for a week, came back and then I had to leave for a family emergency, came back the following week and worked the whole week.  the following week I had to assist with a three day conference for work and was out of the office the entire time, came back to the office for a week and then went out for the church's conference.

when my former boss "informed" me that I was being let go I thanked her and explained that it would now allow me to do some things that I needed to do.  now that I am no longer employed I can not stay in school because the company was scheduled to pay for the classes.

since then I've had to help my father with his doctor's appointments, support my husband as he was at his sister's side during her medical emergency and just plain relax.  i'm sure there will be more opportunities to help family and friends in the near future.  relaxing was one of the main reasons that I was ok with being let go, this job, although I enjoyed, was very taxing and time consuming and allowed no time for me to rejuvenate or recharge my battery.  I was always tired when I came home, when I left home and it made it difficult for me to concentrate on my spiritual growth.

now I can concentrate on the things that God has given as assignments for me to do.  i'll be posting more on that and how it's going later.  I love my God, He is so awesome.  at the beginning of this year during our new year's service at church I personally prayed for three things; revelation, obedience and restoration.  after I prayed that i went to the alter for prayer and asked for the same things and I love that all of those things I prayed for are coming to pass. 

as for a new job, i'll have a new job by the beginning of next year. 

peace and blessings you wonderful people!

jai ar

 

"It's Working"(Grace & Favor) William Murphy & Contagious at Greenbriar ...

 I've got a seed in the ground!

what i know for sure

What I know for sure: hurt people hurt people! Whether it is a past or present hurt, my sister/brother, if you don't deal with it honestly in all of it's displeasure, all of it's pain, all of it's ugly memories you will go on to hurt people and in most cases the very people you swore you would never hurt because you love them too much. 

 

Mothers, playing those children as pawns in the game of life... is not only hurting the father but truly the child and detrimentally so, fathers not seeing that child or caring for them on all levels because of the mother hurts that child and detrimentally so.

 

Siblings forgive one another because in the end all you truly have is your very first friends in life, each other. 

 

Spouses treat each other in kindness and love because if your mate is doing everything they can to be God's mate for you you'd better act like it and reciprocate.  

 

Lying to cover your tracks usually only exposes the lie and you even more. 

 

  Peace and blessings beautiful people!

 

jai ar

 

 

Cats

I dreamt about cats last night and this is not the first time.  In maybe the last two to three weeks I've dreamt about these same cats, one is blonde with a very full coat and the other is a sleek haired charcoal gray.  

The blonde one is very persistent and does whatever (s)he can to get my attention, even ending up in the fridge at one point.  The gray one just smoothly walks around me so that I see it but doesn't stay in my sight for very long.

Now let me say this, I am allergic to cats, puffy eyes, itchy throat and fits of incessant sneezes.  But I think they are so adorable and if I could have a cat I would.  So with that said, when I see these cats my first instinct is to get them out of my space so that the reaction doesn't start but they just won't go away, especially the blonde one he just kept making himself visible, everywhere I turned he was there.  After about 20-30 minutes I noticed that I was not sneezing or itching, shortly after that I woke up.

I believe most dreams have a meaning, if not all dreams.  So I looked up what dreaming about cats could mean.  I read about seven interpretations and six of them said that cats in a dream means you need to tap into your natural intuitive abilities, cats represent your intuitive part of your being.  They are also a representation if your sensitive side.  Only one of those dream descriptions said that  cats represent evil or bad luck so of course I ignore that one.

I'm a pretty sensitive person anyway and also lean a lot more into my intuitive side than a lot if people so this is saying to me that I really need to get back into my meditation sessions and tap into the spirit side of me.  

Let the journey begin, I see nothing but great things coming of this!

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai Ar

8/30/13 thoughts

My mind is so cluttered lately and it makes it difficult for me to focus, extremely difficult.  This only means I need to get back into my deep prayer and meditation lifestyle because with clutter comes chaos and with chaos comes catastrophe.  Deep prayer and meditation are the only things that help me move forward and upward.  So many things to write, so many things to do because my life is about to change and I have to be ready for it.

I have a few books in my belly which must be birthed; I started one of them years ago and I keep putting it down but I need to pick it back up and finish it.  I have a degree to finish and I've already started that, just finished my first class and start my second and third one next week.  My new boss started a couple of weeks ago so i have to regain focus at work because that's been off lately and although I know God works out everything, I can't afford to lose my job over my own neglect.  I've already made it known to her that my goal is upward movement and I know to get there I must work hard and prove myself worthy.  Hard to do that when my mind is cluttered.

My peace and my relationship with God is most important and I must get back to that and now.

Peace and blessings you awesome people!  Jai Ar

thinking about soul ties

Another topic that I have been thinking on is one I have mention before in another post; soul ties.

I was thinking how enjoyable intimacy is between husband and wife versus a dating couple or even a sex partners situation.  When I am intimate with my husband, not just sexually, their is a feeling of connection that I have never felt with any of the men that I have dated, seriously or sexually, ever.  I am of the belief that it has to be because of our God ordained, covenant created soul tie.

In the past I have explained what a soul tie is but briefly and simply it is that connection that a man and woman has when they have sex, especially unprotected sex.  Sex was created and ordained by God to be between husband and wife.  He did that because there is a lot that is supposed to happen between that man and woman before, during and after that act and during that interaction fluids are exchanged, bodies are intertwined and souls are connected or tied together.  If this act is committed between man and woman who are not ordained or meant to be together then the emotions that go along with all of that are now in a turmoil.

ok, so I had to take a little break to regroup and then come back to this.  but funny, while I was taking my break I heard a comment on the radio about soul ties and the example that was given was it's as if your souls have been velcroed together and when you Velcro your soul to someone it shouldn't be, when you pull it apart it hurts.

now back to my view:

now you have these two souls in emotional turmoil and they are both trying to figure out what went wrong but first they have to blame the other person before excepting the responsibility of their own actions.  if those souls don't heal properly you now have two people connecting to two others and the cycle continues and you have a whole collection of people with souls in turmoil and wounded and depressed.  one of the first things you should do if you are insisting on being tied to someone in that sense without being married to them, after it doesn't work out, is re-evaluate the relationship and your part in it.  don't put all of the blame on the other party because there were two of you in it.  sure you may have been what you considered the perfect mate but there is no perfect person so how could you be the perfect mate.

even if you did everything right, loved, appreciated, tended to and those are all wonderful things as yourself what didn't you do in all of that giving.  did you set boundaries, did you remember self while you were doing all of this caring for others, did you hold on to any remnants of yourself or dive all into the other person and forget who you are and what you like.  did you take advantage of the other person's kindness and treat it as a weakness, did you mistreat the other person by having unrealistic expectations of who they are and what you expect of them.

if you felt mistreated ask yourself how were you mistreated and what did you do or not do to make those feelings known.  remember a person will only do to you what you allow them to do.

once you've evaluated then you must forgive; forgive yourself and forgive the other person.  if you continually walk in unforgiveness you are not healing and taking that same hurt into the next relationship and making the other person suffer for something they did not do.

after you have forgiven you must then evaluate what it is that you like about you and enhance that, what you like about you genuinely will be visible to others and they will like it as well, if it is good and not bad.  you must then love yourself for who you are at that moment in your life, you can show others how to love you if you don't know how to love you.  lastly just be happy, if you are happy then you will attract happy.  all of this should take you a good, at the very least, three months.  once that time is up and you have been honest with the process you will then be ready for whomever it is that you are supposed to be with and hopefully they will be ready for you.

live life in happiness and honesty taking responsibility for you.

peace and blessings awesome people,

jai ar
 

procrastination

I have once again drowned myself in procrastination.  I have had several good, no great, topics of discussion in my head for the last month or more and have yet to put any of them down.  I have yet to fill/feel any of them out to see what they may amount to and I have used, work, school, family and fatigue all as excuses for not doing any of the things that I should do.  not taking the time to reconnect with me and my God the way I should, not taking the time to put those things down in print as I am spiritually directed to, not taking the time to do those things that may lift up others to the measure that I am supposed to is an absolute dis-service to myself and dishonors my Creator.

all of that said, I have decided, just now in this moment to set myself a daily reminder to journal/blog/write down my day's thoughts or the thoughts from a day or days ago so that I am back on track with His calling on my life.  for right now I am going to write on yesterday and then move back as far as a can remember over the last 7 days.

yesterday

a friend of mine and I had been talking over the last few weeks about a guy that she's "dating", it is in parenthesis because she said to me today she has no idea what it is they are doing now.  we'd also been talking about a relationship she has with her best friend and how that seems to be slowing down and why she thinks it is and what others are saying they think it is and so on and so forth.  so yesterday she says to me that all of it came to a head and she needed to talk with me and seek my advice.  I have had people come to me over the years asking my thoughts on a particular thing or another and requesting my advice, initially I was reluctant to do it because usually when you do that and something goes wrong, they blame the advice giver.  later I began to see that this is a part of my calling, my blessing, my assignment and because I know that I try to meditate or think hard before I respond to them because any words that I speak I want them to be genuine, honest and from God.  does that always work?  no.  but I do try my best to have that happen.

so she begins to tell me how her friend has been avoiding her lately and not been very receptive to her checking in on her to see how she is doing.  i'd told her just a day or so before to just allow the woman space to cope with what is or may be going on in her life at this moment.  so we are discussing the latest situation and how the friend avoided her like the plague and only acknowledged her after someone else made a point of speaking to her.  a little back story, my friend and she's a new friend, has had a troubling last year or so and is just now getting her bearings again with work and relationship and she is happy once again and making moves on her own, no longer has to ask anyone to help her because she has no other way.  back to the point; all of her happiness going on but her friend is now going through her own battles, unhappy on the job, in her relationships and extended family issues and may very well be having a hard time being happy for my friend, maybe even a little jealous.

so we have this discussion and I say to her just give her the space she needs to get over whatever she needs to get over but be there when she calls to reach out, to apologize, to reconcile to talk.  she may very well be hurting and jealous and unable to deal with your happiness and newly regained independence.  she was used to you coming to her and speaking to her and relying on her that now that you don't have to do that anymore she is having a hard time dealing with it and she also has her own stuff to sift through and maybe trying to do that and this may not have anything at all to do with you.  give her the space she is asking you for non-verbally but be there for her when she calls.  she tells me she's just done because it's not the first time this woman has done this to her and she feels like the woman is being petty and childish.  I agree but you still have to be there, you can't be done in this way.

we spent some more time together and discussed her "boyfriend" and my husband schooled her on that one.  that's another conversation in itself.   but my hope is that this woman has heard us both and is analyzing all of it and figuring out within what is the best way to handle this and all through prayer and meditation.

peace and blessings wonderful people and I look forward to keeping in track with my plan to blog/journal on a regular basis.

jai ar

Weekend

OThis has been a wonderful week/end of family (blood and church) fun, revelation and optimism.

There are so many things that I commissioned to do and have been for a while but never felt adequate enough to do many, if not all, of them but I have finally voiced one of them to someone who has been commissioned to do something similar and it ties into the other thing that I have spoken to a wider group of people than I had initially.

I am going to pace myself as directed and do exactly as I am told to do and rejoice in all that comes with these two tasks even when they are difficult because I know that those things that you are called to do to honor Him are never done with ease because you will always have those out there that are jealous of your call and success, afraid of your call and success and afraid of the call on their own lives.

It was also a great weekend with my grand baby.  I took him to church and also took him to see a section of the family that has never met him before and they really enjoyed him.  

It amazes me that I love him just as much as if he were my very own.  No one could ever have described, accurately, to me how this feels to be a grandparent.  He is such a joy to be with and around and I love to see him smile.  Although I will admit he tried to give us the blues with his crying just because he wants to be walked like his father does for him but it was kind if cute all at the same time.

Well a new day has started and it's time for me to dive into it with gratitude for it.  Enjoy your lives...

Peace and blessings awesome people!

Every morning

every morning I wake up and thank God for another day, I thank Him for his Grace and Mercy in allowing me the blessing of another one because I am fully aware that I did not have to survive the night.

I wake up appreciative, positive and grateful.  I wake up knowing in my heart and soul that God has said to me that His work in me and my work for Him is not complete yet.  waking up any other way is not something that I can comprehend well, I just don't get how some people wake up and one of the first things out of their mouths is something negative.  how do they not know that it is a wonderful blessing to be here yet another day. 

something as small as a genuine compliment makes me smile or someone doing something for me because they feel that it would be a help to me to do it makes me appreciate them even more.  especially when I know they did it out of purity and just to help me because they see, hear or sense that I needed the help.  that to me is a beautiful thing and makes me happy.

someone asked me how I like my new apartment and I was about to say something negative in my answer but couldn't because the bottom line is that I really enjoy it, the view, the area, the beauty in His creation.  all of the things that I saw as negative are honestly not so negative because all of it works in His plan for me and my family.

lately I have not been getting enough rest, so I've been really tired, exhausted actually.  but I still have to get up every morning and do what I have to do; go to work, come home and take care of my family, go to church and socialize from time to time.  I have quite the commute every day too and from work and I've had a couple of near misses where the end result could have been tragic but God has protected me each way each day.  so every morning when I wake up I am grateful.  death is all around me, family, friends and acquaintances dying some suddenly and some from prolonged illnesses.  life is short and the next year, month, day or minute is not promised so I have to be thankful when He keeps me another day. 

if you don't wake up every morning thanking God for another day then you need to question a few things; your relationship with God, who you are in Him and who He is in you and who you are as a person that you can find no good in the first opening of your eyes, in the first 30 minutes of your day.  in that asking also dig into how you were raised/programmed as a child because as much as you hate to admit it your upbringing has so much to do with your current.

every morning when I wake up I thank God!

peace and blessings wonderfully awesome people!

appreciating the journey

I was talking to a brother who was speaking of another brother who has a terminal illness, the doctors can not fix nor can he do anything to ease it.  we were talking about appreciating the journey, in so many words.  he is discouraged because of the things that he used to be able to do but can no longer do because of this illness.  something as simple as snapping his fingers is no longer possible.  walking in a straight line is no longer possible.  this first brother told the second one to remember the things you used to do with pleasure because those memories were good but don't dwell on what you can no longer do because of your present condition.  embrace it, appreciate it and live your life in spite of the illness, enjoy your life and family in spite of.  evaluate and move on.

everything that you have ever been through in life, whether good or bad has gotten you to the point you are at right now.  if you look at it the right way you can say to yourself and others, ok this happened and that happened but had I not gone through all of that I wouldn't be right here and now.  I like it for what it is but i'm not satisfied because I know there is more so let me start the next phase of the journey.  you get to the next level and you appreciate the journey because you looked at it the right way, you understand some things better, the mistakes or choices in general you made help you to see things clearer.

you know when you're in the mall and the directory has a map with a sign that says "you are here", every once in a while it's good to look at the path you took to get to "here" so you know where you came from and to help you appreciate the view.  you go further into the mall and you're looking for a particular store and you get a little lost along the way, you come across another directory that has a map that says "you are here" and you look at the path again and say ok, I made this turn, went straight here, made that turn and along there I didn't come across what I needed to but where I am isn't so bad.  ok but now to get where I need to be I have to go this way because now I know where I came from and I don't want to go back there. now I know where I am and I can't stay.

you finally make it to your "destination", which for me is wherever God called me to be and I can look at it and say I truly appreciate all that I went through, good or bad because it all got me to this point.  think about it, if you had taken another path, would it have lead you to this very point?  yes or no?  something to think about right?  well I say yes because what He has for you is yours regardless to the path however, the path you take determines how long it takes you to get there to that particular point and your understanding the path or looking at it in the right way, helps you to appreciate more the end point.

your destiny is in your hands, how you get there is up to you and if you appreciate the journey it will help you better appreciate the destiny.

peace and blessings awesome people!

jai ar

your destiny is calling

as I began my journey to get to know God better I began to see a lot more clearly what it is that He wants me to do in this life, I began to see what He has in store for me.  along that journey, seeing those things and knowing what I know I began to pull back from my connection to Him not even realizing that that is what I was doing.

there were/are certain things that I was directed in the Spirit to do and I chose not to do them.  however, it didn't look at the moment as if I had chosen not to do them, it appeared to me initially as if things had gotten in the way and stopped me or blocked me from doing them.  going through financial strains, having family issues, not being happy in my job and not having any luck in finding another one, getting married and focusing on the new marriage and husband, dealing with the fall out of children trying to adjust to having a man in the house.  everything under the sun is to blame for me not doing what I clearly heard Him say do, that is until I actually sat and analyzed and reconnected and that is when I figured out that I had put on hold everything that I was called to do because I had a fear or distrust maybe in what it would turn out to be.  I had even convinced myself that because I was not ready to do those things that He was not ready for me to do them.  someone asked me just a week or so ago if I knew my purpose and I told them yes.  he said you really know what it is that God has called you to do it and you aren't doing it, why not?

it wasn't a fear or distrust in God, it was a fear/distrust in my being able to do what it is that he told me to do.  but why did i have that fear knowing full well that anything that He has called me to do He will help me do.  if I do what i'm supposed to do He will do what I can not do.  as I began to meditate more and talk more about certain things it was clear to me that I needed to get back on track for me to fulfill my destiny not just for myself or my family but for my God.  how do I feel when my children don't do something that I have clearly told them to do or they do it half way right?  I feel betrayed, hurt, disappointed and that's how I imagine God must feel knowing that He told me what to do and I clearly heard it but I only did some of it half way right and didn't do some of it at all.

time to get back on track people, time to focus.  what are you being called to do that you are not doing?  what do you clearly hear but are ignoring?  get in motion people and fulfill your destiny!

peace and blessings God's people,

jai ar

circle of life

the world is round, a circle.  it is cyclical, it's a cycle, it recycles.  it has a boomerang effect.  meaning what you put out there is what you get back.

stop thinking that your actions or words have no effect  on people places or things.  stop behaving as if there is no force behind them.  just as the Creator said "my words shall not return unto me void", meaning it will not come back to him empty, there is some force, power behind them.

people forget that what they put out is what they get back, you put ill words and will out towards others, you knock others down and belittle them, this is what comes back to you ten fold and the same with the positive.  here's the kicker though, people seem to think that if they don't receive the punishment within their time reame that it won't happen at all.

let me further assist; just because you don't see it in the frame of time you have doesn't mean it won't happen.  just because you don't see it in your life directly doesn't mean it didn't happen, sins of the father shall fall upon the son.  what you do or say not only affects you but it affects those around you.

negative example: you lie about something to someone and think nothing of it to save your butt, that person takes the lie you fed them and feeds it to someone else thinking that it's truth and behaves accordingly.  what you have said in falsehood could cause someone to become incarcerated, injured, fired, expelled, killed, etc.  but all you did was tell a lie to cover your own behind and keep out of trouble.

another one: you sell drugs and live an unsavory life or you're an undercover prostitute.  someone that you've done a dirty deal with and they didn't appreciate it, sees a family member of yours or a good friend that has absolutely nothing to do with your chosen lifestyle but because they are connected to you they are fair game.  the wounded party takes their unhappiness out on that family member or friend.

positive example: you say a simple hello to someone, treat them with kindness.  they find out about an opportunity that it seems you would absolutely fit in and tell you about it.  the opportunity is just what you were asking/looking for and it helps you achieve a goal that you'd always wanted to achieve and all you did was treat someone with kindness.

another one: you continuously give to others despite not having much yourself but it's what you do, you have the gift of helps.  someone takes notice to that and somehow finds out that you need assistance; a new car, month's rent, bills paid, bus fare, whatever and they an abundance that they want to share with you so they do simply because that's all they've seen you do is help others and remain positive.

whether you want to believe it or not what you put out into the universe comes back to you one way or another so be careful what you do and say because you never know who may be watching.

peace and blessings awesome people!

jai ar

Peace in the midst of

the last few weeks have been so busy for me and I've had a lot of thoughts running through my mind.  so many that if I put them all here it would probably look like jai babble, lol.

one of the things that I have learned over the years is that I am in control of my reactions to people and things.  as a mature adult and a child of the King it is more and more evident to me that I have put that lesson into practice a lot more than I initially realized. 

my spirit has always been one of peace, calm and tranquility so when I come up against something that is trying to pull me away from that I usually don't have to dig too deep to pull myself back together.  however there are times when I have to go deep for my center again because something has just truly rocked me.

one of the most important things that helps me stay centered is prayer.  I believe when you make that connection with the Higher Power (for me it's God) that you can't help but feel better.  another important way to stay centered is meditation.  some wonder about meditation because it seems so difficult to do especially when you have a lot going on but if you just sit for 5 minutes at a time, quietly it will happen.  initially it may be difficult because your mind is racing with one thing after the other but if you breath deeply and consistently you begin to clear your mind one minute at a time and before you know it there is nothing but darkness and peace.  you extend that 5 minutes from 5 to 7 to 10 and before you know it you are capable of meditating for 30 minutes at a time and being at peace.

one more thing that helps me stay centered, that I absolutely have to get back to, is exercise.  you don't have to do anything difficult or too strenuous.  I like walking, yoga and pilates.  all of these things help me clear my head and become one with nature, myself, God and keep me centered.  the adrenaline rush is amazing and lasts for a long time.

get in the practice of praying, meditating and exercising and when things begin to go wrong you will be strong enough to deal with them.

Peace and Blessings wonderful people,
jai ar

unforgiveness

I was listening to my usual radio program the other morning and the conversation turned to a particular gospel artist and him putting his personal, yet unpleasant, business out in social media and at the same time pulled a few other people in on there with him.  In this self exposing matter, after he’d basically called the other parties liars he then proceeded to say that he had forgiven them but the hosts of the show questioned the sincerity of that forgiveness.

It brought me to thinking more and more about forgiveness, or the lack thereof, and I came to two specific thoughts:

Unforgiveness has many reasons; one is that we have not been taught (shown) what it is.  But I think the other is; we tend to see that act that we cannot forgive in ourselves.

A lot of times when you are not able to forgive the person that has wronged you it may be because you see some of that wrong doing in you.  You see that it is either something that you have done and you feel guilty about and now that thing has been thrown in your face and the other person may not have had any idea what they have done or because you see in you the potential to do the same thing to another person but you are not happy about that fact that you are capable of being just as wrong because you see yourself as a “good person”.  Ex: if you cannot forgive your mate for going outside to get intimacy, and it doesn’t have to be physical, it could be because you are guilty of the same.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not condone infidelity but sometimes a person steps out of the partnership for a connection that they either never got from you or can no longer get from you no matter what they do to get it.  They did everything you like but you no longer have the interest or time to pay attention to them and give them that connection.  You blame them for the failure of your partnership and refuse to forgive them and all the while you are doing the very thing you refuse to forgive them for or you at least thought of doing, you wanted to do it, maybe even planned to do but didn’t act on it.  The guilty will persecute…think about it.

With all of the things that happened to me along this journey called life the only way I was able to get through it was to believe in a higher power (God, Jesus), pray to that higher power, ask for forgiveness and the power/ability to forgive myself and others.  No matter how much I’d thought I’d gotten over things the more it was put in my face in various ways, not always exactly as it happened but similar, the more I began to realize that I had not truly forgiven those things that had happened to me, myself for “letting” them happen and the people that had done those things.  But as I began to mature in myself and in my walk with God I began to learn to forgive and live in peace.  I don’t let people have that much control over my life anymore.   

I’m sitting there talking about what they did to me, thinking about how it hurt me and what I can do to get back at them and the whole while they are moving on with their lives no longer thinking about how they hurt me, no longer looking for forgiveness because in their heads and hearts, it’s done and over and if I can’t forgive them oh well.

Don’t hold on to grudges, that hurt, pain, unforgiveness, dislike, mistrust turns into hate and all of those things eat you alive and your health fails, your mind fails, your prosperity fails, your happiness fails and you cannot live in your purpose.  You may look, on occasion, happy and carefree but the whole while you are aching on the inside, falling apart on the inside.

Sit down and really think about it; why are you not forgiving that person honestly?  Is it really about what they did or didn’t do to you or is it more about what you may or may not have done to others or what may or may not have gone the way you wanted in your life.

You cannot truly forgive others until you have truly forgiven yourself.  Until you have forgiven yourself for what you have done in your past and who you used to be and asked the Creator for forgiveness you cannot truly forgive others.

Peace and blessings awesome people!

Jai Ar