God Told Me to Tell You...

I have heard many a people say that they are instantly turned off when someone comes up to them and says these words, "God told me to tell you...", they sometimes respond with a smart comment about having their own relationship with God and if He wants them to know something He will tell them himself.  Sometimes that just patronize the person and say, okay, thank you, but they really have no interest in what the person has delivered to them.

Behind my hearing this, I became a little confused, not a lot, just a little because God is also, not the author of confusion.  But I was a little confused because they bible I read (in Proverbs) states that there is wisdom in wise counsel, long-standing wisdom at that.  My bible says that there is victory in wise counsel, there is sweetness in wise counsel.  So why exactly are we not listening to people when they say God is using them as a messenger?  God may have told you something in your private time with Him and that other person delivering the message could be delivering the confirmation you needed.  Or is it that you are fighting what God told you and you don't want to hear it from anyone else?

What if that person is delivering a blessing and a word of encouragement that was needed in that right now moment; are you not going to hear what they have to say because you are so stuck in your ideals of how God will speak to you?  Also in Proverbs it mentions that the way of the fool is to follow in his own eyes, or his own understanding.  Could that person be delivering to you a word of warning.  So I'm just a little confused, what is the problem with people telling you what God told them to?  I know there are false prophets out there, I know that there are preachers, teachers and apostle that lie but this is where you come in with prayer and ask God to kick up your discernment.

In Ephesians the word says that he gave some apostles, prophets, evangelists, preachers and teachers for the perfecting of God's people, for the edification of the body of Christ.  If your discernment is heightened and your ear is keened into God's voice you don't have to be concerned about false teachings, you will hear what God wants you to hear and you are allowing the vessel delivering the message to be obedient.  Stop being so selfish, you are not the only one that can hear God when He speaks and you are not the only one that can deliver His message.

Scriptures:

Ephesians 4:11-16

Proverbs

Peace and Blessings beautiful people!

Remember to walk in Your purpose!

Jai

Victim, Victimizing, Victorious

Sometimes I sit back and listen to what people say and/or what they do to get what they want.  Some people, for whatever reason, live the life of a victim; nothing good every happens to them and when it does, something comes along to ruin it.  They are always sick or hurting or they have no money or other resources to get around.  It's the "woe is me" syndrome going on.  I have never understood a person who enjoys sitting in misery, always the victim...unless, they are doing it for attention.  Could that really be it, they are okay with living a miserable life because it makes them feel good to have people pay attention to them, or do things for them?  If that's really the reason then explain this to me: what happens when everyone becomes hip to your game?  What do you do when no one wants to help you in anyway because they now see that everything you do or say is for pity?

Wake up call!  People will eventually get tired of you laying in your own filth (illness, poverty, or whatever).  Even Jesus had to ask a man if he wanted to be healed.  Yes, when it comes to illness that's a difficult one to cross off the list but even in your illness there may be some things you can do for yourself to make things more bearable.  Do you know why people don't give a lot of funding to causes for sickness anymore?  They don't because they can't trust the funds are going to be used for the initial plea of help.  When my husband became ill and I set up a crowdfunding account, I made it plain to people that if they didn't want to send the funds to us directly then send it to one of the many hospitals he was in or one of the many specialists he had to see to pay on his accounts.  This way they know where the money went.  We had people purchase food for us, bring us food, send funds to pay our utilities or put gas in the car because we had to go back and forth so much.

At the same time I also wonder what joy people get out of victimizing others.  Are you so sad and depraved of heart that you only feel good when you make others hurt?  Or is it because you feel less than that they only way to make yourself okay is to intentionally bring others to your level of pain.  Your self-esteem should be higher than that and your ultimate goal should be to help people and not hurt them.  I have encountered many people in my life that seem to only find joy in making others crazy, or bring them pain of some sort.  But at the end of the day they still have to go home and face themselves in the mirror and be alone with themselves.  Even more importantly, at they end of their lives they have to face God and account for all of the dirt they have kicked up...whether they believe or not.  Pharaoh and his people suffered tremendously because he refused to soften his heart towards God's people and give them their freedom.  What did that benefit him in the end?  Absolutely nothing.

God's word says that we are more than conquerors, that we are the head and not the tail, that we are the lender and never the borrower.  His word assures us that we are victorious in Christ Jesus, all we have to do is trust Him and obey His word.  I refuse to walk around as a victim or participate in victimizing others because when it's all said and done and I have to meet Him face to face I want Him to say, with pride, well done my good and faithful servant.  

Peace and Blessings wonderful people!  Remember to walk in Your purpose!

Jai Ar

Scripture:

Victim - John 5: 6

Victimization - Exodus 9

Victorious - Psalm 17: 7; 71: 20; 100: 5, 2 Cor 1: 3-4; 4: 8-9, James 1:12, Philippians 4: 6-7

Speaking From a Place of Pain

I open up my notes to see what today's topic is and it's "Speaking From a Place of Pain", when this topic was downloaded into me months ago it was supposed to be more of a general reference.  Ironically, earlier today I was given the thought of doing a quick video on my authentic self and being totally transparent about some spots in my life that are painful.  Just a moment ago I said to myself, it's time to get this blog and vlog up so go sit at that laptop and chomp it out.  

When my mother died a few years ago she died without living out her true purpose, she died without being her best self, she died believing the lies that the enemy fed her.  She was brilliant but had a hard time believing it.  Years before my mother passed I knew what my purpose was and had a difficult time excepting it.  Why?  Because it meant that I had to deal with some painful things, that although I had gradually become okay with sharing, I was still not in a fully comfortable space with it.  Shortly before her passing I knew that my time of hiatus and grace, of God, was coming to an end and I tried my best to prepare for it.  I had written the book that God allowed me to write, instead of my biography, and I had joined a collective of writers who brought out more of me and I believed, falsely of course, that I was living my unapologetic true self.

...and then she died.  That was my wake-up call because I knew that my mother had died with her purpose still inside her, she died not believing that she could be all that God had ordained her to be.  She died unfulfilled and unhappy.  Let me clarify, she loved her children and grandchildren and absolutely adored her great-grands, that she had been blessed to see come into the world well before her death.  But my mother was not happy with her current status and when she had been given her various diagnosis she was afraid of dying.  Not because death was so scary but because she wanted to live and she wanted to be here for them, her great-grandbabies.  It was my wake-up call because I didn't want that for myself.  When I die, I want everything that God had purposed me for to be fulfilled, I want to die having lived in my full potential.  I've said that before, I meant it then and I mean it now.

I have, over many years, battled with different stages of depression.  Initially, as a teenager, I had no idea what it was and I thought I was just a little sad.  But after my rape and subsequent injustice, I realized that it was depression.  But who was I going to talk to about it?  Really, who?  No one, because that's just not what we did.  We didn't talk about the things that brought us pain; the various abuses, scars, unfair treatment.  So I developed the wonderful skill of acting and went about life as if nothing bothered me.  All of the summers of studying daytime drama were paying off, but not to my benefit really.  I made plans for my life and when they didn't happen the way I had intended I just chalked it up to "life happened", planted a smile on my face and conjured up laughter in my belly and moved on.  Still not talking with anyone and holding all of that hurt and pain in I birthed children, married my first husband and birthed one more.  I went to school to study, what I thought was my calling in life.  Being the creative that I am I turned a hobby of interior design into a business, when it really should have stayed a hobby. 

During my first marriage, right before the end, I sought professional help because something just didn't feel right inside me anymore and the fake happy, that I thought I was pulling off, began to slip away.  I got the help I needed and she was great at listening but not so great at advising and when my marriage ended I lay in bed for a year in a full blown depression.  I only moved about to get my kids off to school and make sure they ate.  I'd lost a total of 50 lbs in three months, which was extremely evident when my mother gave me a pair of XL sweatpants for Christmas that could fit two of me, comfortably.  Shortly after I lost the weight I began gaining some of it back and started losing my hair.  After much prayer I got out of the bed and started walking to lose the weight the right way and began styling my hair to cover the thin spots.

One of the things that was revealed to me in the midst of my recovery was that I needed to write my life story and I began to do so, but not for the correct reasons.  I was doing it out of spite instead of healing, when I realized that I asked God to spare me that assignment and He did.  The pain was so strong that I could almost taste it, I knew if I wrote from that space it would hurt so many people in turn and that's the last thing I wanted.  So I held onto that pain and put the face on again, as if everything was okay.  I moved about as if I was healing, and then healed, but some of the life choices I made during that time clearly said otherwise.  I went back to that same counselor and she decided that what I really needed was medication but it only numbed the pain by allowing me to sleep my life away.  After a few days, I said no more of that and looked for an all natural way to heal.  I did find a natural soother and with that, along with a lot of prayer, the healing process began for real.  But there have been moments in my life where I still feel the kick of depression.

Although I have remarried, I have written a book (not the biography), my children are all grown, my grands are beautiful and healthy, I have formed my organization and have relocated; I still have not filled my life's purpose. I am still not living up to my full potential and that is disturbing my spirit.  Over the last few years I have suffered a lot of loss (family members, jobs, finances) but I don't want to live as if my life doesn't matter.  I don't want to live as if those that raised me meant absolutely nothing and that the good they poured into me had no impact.  As a matter of fact, I have become bored with living life as usual and look forward to living fully in my purpose.  My life is not over, and although I am still feeling the twinges of depression, I know there is more of  that I have to rejoice in.  My process of seeking help is active and I know that I will be well again.

We are more than conquerors through him who loved us - Romans 8:37 (read also verses 31-39)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - Philippians 4:13

With God, all things are possible - Matthew 19:26b

Put on the whole armor of God that you may stand against the enemy - Ephesians 6:11-18

Peace and Blessings AMAZING people!

Remember to walk in Your purpose!

Jai Ar

Confident or Cocky

When you think of the word confidence what image is conjured up for you?  Who or what comes to mind?  Do you see yourself anywhere in those images?  There is nothing wrong with being confident, actually confidence is an attractive attribute.  Basically to be confident is to be assured of your own abilities or qualities.  You walk taller, smile broader and there is a tone of pride in your speech.  Ahhhh pride, that thing there.  That feeling of extreme pleasure with ones own achievements.  In essence there is nothing wrong with being proud of oneself but there is a threshold.  There is a VERY thin line between being confident and cocky and between feeling proud and being prideful.

We humans have this strange ability to turn something good into something distasteful in a matter of seconds and it's usually because of our initial intent behind the act of doing something.  We can turn an achievement and a reason to be proud of ourselves into something that resembles boasting or cocky behavior.  Just recently I had this experience.  I pride myself on finding simple solutions to problems and I was able to do that for a repeat problem at work and I went around telling everyone who would listen...but no one would acknowledge it or say that it was a good idea.  They would just move around as if I had said absolutely nothing to them at all; as if I were invisible.  So I sat my bruised ego down and continued to work my solution and said nothing else about it.  Then one morning my employer was looking for some documents and I pulled up my spreadsheet and voila', I was able to answer his question in a matter of a minute or two rather than an hour or two.  He was so pleased and subsequently so I was I.  But, could that pleasure have arrived weeks earlier if I had just let it be after creating the spreadsheet?  Oh, this is the part that I left out, and I think it's critical to my point here, when I initially told everyone about my solution my tone was one of irritation and dare I say arrogance.  This, I believe is what made people move around as if I had said nothing at all; my delivery.

Years ago, when I worked for a major copier company, there was this extremely attractive man that worked in the same building as I.  He was the cliche' tall, dark and handsome and he also fit his suits rather well.  Every single morning I would see this man and I would swoon on the inside.  It was a deep swoon honey, my knees practically buckled.  One afternoon I went into Starbucks and he was walking out, that was his daily stop but usually in the mornings, and the cashier had that look on her face as he walked out.  You know the look, the one that said "I would devour him if he were mine".  Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, lol!  Anyway, she had the look and I chuckled at her, we began discussing the gentleman and all that we THOUGHT we knew about him but the one thing that stuck out for both of us was that no matter how FINE we thought he was he had this air of cockiness about him, not confidence but cocky.  Fast forward a year or so later and the very same accusation is placed on me and it was true!  I walked around as if my poop don't stink and as if I were too good to speak to or with.

The bible speaks of those prideful behaviors and how it will cause your downfall and oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Be mindful of how you carry yourself, of how you present yourself to others.  Be confident in your abilities and your assignment in life but leave the prideful behavior and cockiness behind.  It will serve you well to do so.

Verses on humbleness

2 Timothy 1:7

Proverbs 3:26

Hebrews 4:16; 10: 35-36

Verses on Prideful behavior

James 4:6, 10

Jeremiah 9:23

Philippians 2:3

Isaiah 2:12

Proverbs 16: 18-19

Peace and Blessings beautiful people!

Remember to walk in Your purpose!

Jai

The Mask

Masks, there are so many and they mean so many different things.  In the theater you have the comedy and tragedy, in social media you have emojis that mean you are happy, sad, crying, love something, hate something, you think it's poop, you are wowed by something.  We post pictures with us smiling and laughing as if all is well.  Masks, we wear them well but what are they covering up?  What are they hiding; hurt, pain, depression, illness, homelessness, lack of funds, low self-esteem?  Or, or are you really always that happy and joyful and fun to be around?

When I was dealing with depression before it got really heavy, I would smile as if all was well.  I would tell people that I was alright and that I could handle all that was given to me for me to take care of.  I lied and big time.  My world was turning upside down and flipping sideways, I was in so much internal turmoil and to look at me you would have no clue.  Family and friends had no idea that I was overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life.  Do you know someone like that or are you that person?  You are walking around telling everyone that it's ok, that you are alright or that you will be fine.  But the reality is that you cry when you are alone in the bathroom, or at night after everyone else has fallen asleep.  Your spouse or significant other is on the other side of the bed, snoring away, and has no idea that you are bawling your eyes out, snotting all over your pillow because the pain hurts so bad.

One of the things that drew me out of my depression, at the deepest point, heck at all points, was God's word.  God's promise to me, to us, is that trouble doesn't last always, that weeping endures for the night but joy comes in the morning.

We also wear masks of makeup and hair and expensive clothing, even expensive cars and houses.  Let me make this clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with hair, makeup, expensive clothing, cars or houses.  If you have worked hard for these things, you deserve it.  They are there to enhance your appearance and your life.  But why do you really have those things?  A lot of women wear makeup and extra hair because they feel as if they are not beautiful without it, usually because someone told them that they would be cute if they had longer hair or if they wore a little makeup.  Darker complexioned people want to lighten their skin because someone told them that they would be cute if they were lighter.  People put the pressure on themselves to get numerous degrees and to be the smartest person in the class because someone told them that they were stupid or because they got a C on a test that they needed to work extra hard.  Doing this made them feel as if they were inadequate and weren't good enough.  Men buy expensive cars and/or large houses because as a child/teenager someone told them they were ugly and they had better get a lot of money because no woman would be attracted to them without it.  I have heard these things myself!  I have heard people say this to and about children, teenagers, young adults and even grown folks and it has saddened me.  Have I been guilty of it myself?  On some level, I'm sure I have and shame of me for being so insensitive and inconsiderate of the other person's feelings, self-worth and overall mental health.

If you are wearing a mask please take it off and deal with the real that is under that mask.  Deal with the hurt feelings, the low self-esteem, the pain of feeling abandoned and neglected, the depression.  You are worth so much and have so much to offer this world, beyond what anyone has ever told you in the past, even beyond your wildest dreams or imaginations.  Dive into God's word and you will find so many scriptures that are encouraging to your spirit.

Some scriptures:

Psalm 94:19

*James 1:2 -3

Proverbs 10:28

Romans 14:17; 15:13

*Psalm 30:15

*Hebrews 12:2

Peace and blessings beautiful people!  Remember to walk in Your purpose!

Jai

Put Some Respect on His Name!

Ok, so maybe I'm being a Petty Betty when I say this but...when you write in Jesus name it should be Jesus with an apostrophe.  Look, I said I might be Petty Betty, lol, but the apostrophe is a punctuation mark that can indicate possession. 

Jesus possesses His name, as in it's His so when we ask for anything in His name or end a written prayer with the common phrase "in Jesus name", we should be writing "in Jesus' name".  God (the Father, Son and Holy Spirit) possesses all the land and all on, in, above and under it.  We are His possession.  When we ask for anything in prayer and supplication we are asking Him, essentially for His possessions.   Here is the beautiful thing...He tells us to ask in His name!  He wants us to ask in His name so that He can give us our hearts desires, which hopefully are aligned with His desires for us.

There are so many bible verses that speak to asking for anything and all in His name, but read the Book of John for sure.   For example, John 14:13-14 literally says whatever you ask in My name, if you ask anything in My name, it shall be given to you.  I also like Colossians 3:17, where it states that whatever you do in word or deed do it in Jesus' name, giving thanks to God.  Now please understand that just because you ask for something in Jesus' name doesn't mean He can't say no, remember He possesses ALL and if God doesn't feel you are ready for it He will not give it to you and if you do something without His permission it may not work out well for you.  Remember, you are in the world but not of the world, meaning just because you are able to do something doesn't mean you should.

So put some respect on His name!  Father God I pray that what I have written here is blessed by You so that it may bless Your children, in Jesus' name, Amen.

Scriptures:

*John 14:13-14

John 16:23-24

John 15:16

John 20:31

*Colossians 3:17

Mark 16:17

Peace and blessing beautiful people!  Remember to walk in Your purpose!  Know that I appreciate you!

When God Leads (3/27/16)

When God leads you must follow, especially if you have asked for direction.  There is no point to your asking and praying for his guidance if you are not going to go where you have been directed.  It may be scary it will be unfamiliar, it may even hurt a little, but if you keep doing the same thing you  are going to get the same results.  In order for you to get your different and desired results you have to to do something different.  If you trusted God enough to ask and pray then trust Him enough to follow earnestly.