being an adult vs being grown vs maturity

definitions:

a·dult

/əˈdʌlt, ˈædʌlt/ Show Spelled [uh-duhlt, ad-uhlt] Show IPA

adjective

1.

having attained full size and strength; grown up; mature: an adult person, animal, or plant.

2.

of, pertaining to, or befitting adults.

3.

intended for adults; not suitable for children: adult entertainment.

noun

4.

a person who is fully grown or developed or of age.

5.

a full-grown animal or plant.

6.

a person who has attained the age of maturity as specified by law.

 

grown

/groʊn/ Show Spelled [grohn] Show IPA

adjective

1.

advanced in growth: a grown boy.

2.

arrived at full growth or maturity; adult: a grown man.

 

ma·tu·ri·ty

/məˈtʃʊərɪti, -ˈtʊər-, -ˈtyʊər-, -ˈtʃɜr-/ Show Spelled [muh-choor-i-tee, -toor-, -tyoor-, -chur-] Show IPA

noun

1.

the state of being mature; ripeness: The fruit will reach maturity in a few days.

2.

full development; perfected condition: maturity of judgment; to bring a plan to maturity.

3.

Finance.

a.

the state of being due.

b.

the time when a note or bill of exchange becomes due.

 

/məˈtʊər, -ˈtyʊər, -ˈtʃʊər, -ˈtʃɜr/ Show Spelled

now let me tell you why those definitions are there.  I get so tired of hearing young people between the ages of 21 and 27 saying they are grown, now mind you I have not forgotten that at some point in time that used to be me but if you keep living and paying attention you will learn. 

 

by law when you hit the age of 18 you are considered an adult and the definition states that.  by 21 there are some things that you can do as an "adult" legally that you couldn't do as an "adult" at 18.  to be considered grown you must have "arrived at full growth or maturity" but to be considered mature you must be of "full development; perfected condition; maturity of judgment".  this may all look the same but believe me there is a difference.

 

at 21 you are legally able to do a lot of things because you are an "adult" but have you arrived at full maturity, do you have the ability to be mature in judgment?  if you are then bravo but most are not because they are not aware that there are so many other things; circumstances, situations and decisions that come with being grown and mature that their adult minds, emotions and souls can not handle.

 

by 21 i'd had one child already and going to school and working, by 24 i'd had my second child and working and living in my own space, by 27 I was married and preparing to deliver my third child.  with all of that adult life and grown experiences there were so many things that happened in that time frame that I was not prepared to handle.  so many mature things that were too grown for my adult mind to handle.  I was not mentally, emotionally or spiritually prepared to take on but you couldn't tell me nothing in the midst of some of it because I was paying bills, going to work, going to school and taking care of my husband and children; in my mind, I was grown.  those experiences taught me I hadn't hit that maturity level yet but they helped me get there.

 

these young people that I get tired of hearing say "i am grown" are doing no more than what I did but they are doing it a little bit differently.  they are deciding that there is no one that can teach them or show them any better.  they are making some of the same decisions with their bodies and lives that I/we made during that time that their minds are not prepared to take on and but the difference is...there's no remorse.  they are not at all sorry for their actions nor the consequences their actions will bring about.

 

how can this be remedied?  it starts with paying attention to what is going on around you and learning from those things, surrounding yourself with people who have your best interest at heart genuinely (there is no hidden agenda), be around people who are positive and don't keep up drama/mess.  if you say you are not a messy person then stop hanging around those that are, if you are the messy person, stop the foolishness.  when you learn from the experience to do better, then do better.  stop making excuses as to why you can not and begin to make reasons for why you can be better.  think about things in the long term instead of the short term, this will help you to make better decisions because you will have looked at how it may or may not affect your life or the life of those around you.

 

lastly, develop a relationship with God and this should actually be first because once you've done this, everything else will fall into place.

 

peace and blessings beautiful people!

 

jai ar

 

Unemployed and at peace with it

The last few weeks have been an amazing journey of faith, obedience, revelation, patience, confirmation and peace.

A few weeks ago the Holy Spirit laid on me that I would not be at my job much longer and initially I didn't recognize what I was hearing and then shortly after it rested on me again and I realized what was going on and I said ok God I hear you and I receive it, now if I may ask can the next job be closer to home.  Just over two weeks ago I took three days off work to attend my church's annual conference I came back to work to find out that I would not have a job much longer however my boss had no idea I knew.  later in week i called the director that handled/supported my administrative team and informed him that i was aware that i would no longer be employed and if he could send me the paperwork I would appreciate it.  he was not happy that I knew and said he couldn't do anything and was quite uncomfortable with being in the middle now that he was aware.

a little back story; about three months ago I got a new boss because my old one retired one of the first things that was said to me was that they were for work/life balance and I said good.  shortly after I got sick and was out for a week, came back and then I had to leave for a family emergency, came back the following week and worked the whole week.  the following week I had to assist with a three day conference for work and was out of the office the entire time, came back to the office for a week and then went out for the church's conference.

when my former boss "informed" me that I was being let go I thanked her and explained that it would now allow me to do some things that I needed to do.  now that I am no longer employed I can not stay in school because the company was scheduled to pay for the classes.

since then I've had to help my father with his doctor's appointments, support my husband as he was at his sister's side during her medical emergency and just plain relax.  i'm sure there will be more opportunities to help family and friends in the near future.  relaxing was one of the main reasons that I was ok with being let go, this job, although I enjoyed, was very taxing and time consuming and allowed no time for me to rejuvenate or recharge my battery.  I was always tired when I came home, when I left home and it made it difficult for me to concentrate on my spiritual growth.

now I can concentrate on the things that God has given as assignments for me to do.  i'll be posting more on that and how it's going later.  I love my God, He is so awesome.  at the beginning of this year during our new year's service at church I personally prayed for three things; revelation, obedience and restoration.  after I prayed that i went to the alter for prayer and asked for the same things and I love that all of those things I prayed for are coming to pass. 

as for a new job, i'll have a new job by the beginning of next year. 

peace and blessings you wonderful people!

jai ar

 

"It's Working"(Grace & Favor) William Murphy & Contagious at Greenbriar ...

 I've got a seed in the ground!

what i know for sure

What I know for sure: hurt people hurt people! Whether it is a past or present hurt, my sister/brother, if you don't deal with it honestly in all of it's displeasure, all of it's pain, all of it's ugly memories you will go on to hurt people and in most cases the very people you swore you would never hurt because you love them too much. 

 

Mothers, playing those children as pawns in the game of life... is not only hurting the father but truly the child and detrimentally so, fathers not seeing that child or caring for them on all levels because of the mother hurts that child and detrimentally so.

 

Siblings forgive one another because in the end all you truly have is your very first friends in life, each other. 

 

Spouses treat each other in kindness and love because if your mate is doing everything they can to be God's mate for you you'd better act like it and reciprocate.  

 

Lying to cover your tracks usually only exposes the lie and you even more. 

 

  Peace and blessings beautiful people!

 

jai ar

 

 

Cats

I dreamt about cats last night and this is not the first time.  In maybe the last two to three weeks I've dreamt about these same cats, one is blonde with a very full coat and the other is a sleek haired charcoal gray.  

The blonde one is very persistent and does whatever (s)he can to get my attention, even ending up in the fridge at one point.  The gray one just smoothly walks around me so that I see it but doesn't stay in my sight for very long.

Now let me say this, I am allergic to cats, puffy eyes, itchy throat and fits of incessant sneezes.  But I think they are so adorable and if I could have a cat I would.  So with that said, when I see these cats my first instinct is to get them out of my space so that the reaction doesn't start but they just won't go away, especially the blonde one he just kept making himself visible, everywhere I turned he was there.  After about 20-30 minutes I noticed that I was not sneezing or itching, shortly after that I woke up.

I believe most dreams have a meaning, if not all dreams.  So I looked up what dreaming about cats could mean.  I read about seven interpretations and six of them said that cats in a dream means you need to tap into your natural intuitive abilities, cats represent your intuitive part of your being.  They are also a representation if your sensitive side.  Only one of those dream descriptions said that  cats represent evil or bad luck so of course I ignore that one.

I'm a pretty sensitive person anyway and also lean a lot more into my intuitive side than a lot if people so this is saying to me that I really need to get back into my meditation sessions and tap into the spirit side of me.  

Let the journey begin, I see nothing but great things coming of this!

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai Ar

8/30/13 thoughts

My mind is so cluttered lately and it makes it difficult for me to focus, extremely difficult.  This only means I need to get back into my deep prayer and meditation lifestyle because with clutter comes chaos and with chaos comes catastrophe.  Deep prayer and meditation are the only things that help me move forward and upward.  So many things to write, so many things to do because my life is about to change and I have to be ready for it.

I have a few books in my belly which must be birthed; I started one of them years ago and I keep putting it down but I need to pick it back up and finish it.  I have a degree to finish and I've already started that, just finished my first class and start my second and third one next week.  My new boss started a couple of weeks ago so i have to regain focus at work because that's been off lately and although I know God works out everything, I can't afford to lose my job over my own neglect.  I've already made it known to her that my goal is upward movement and I know to get there I must work hard and prove myself worthy.  Hard to do that when my mind is cluttered.

My peace and my relationship with God is most important and I must get back to that and now.

Peace and blessings you awesome people!  Jai Ar

thinking about soul ties

Another topic that I have been thinking on is one I have mention before in another post; soul ties.

I was thinking how enjoyable intimacy is between husband and wife versus a dating couple or even a sex partners situation.  When I am intimate with my husband, not just sexually, their is a feeling of connection that I have never felt with any of the men that I have dated, seriously or sexually, ever.  I am of the belief that it has to be because of our God ordained, covenant created soul tie.

In the past I have explained what a soul tie is but briefly and simply it is that connection that a man and woman has when they have sex, especially unprotected sex.  Sex was created and ordained by God to be between husband and wife.  He did that because there is a lot that is supposed to happen between that man and woman before, during and after that act and during that interaction fluids are exchanged, bodies are intertwined and souls are connected or tied together.  If this act is committed between man and woman who are not ordained or meant to be together then the emotions that go along with all of that are now in a turmoil.

ok, so I had to take a little break to regroup and then come back to this.  but funny, while I was taking my break I heard a comment on the radio about soul ties and the example that was given was it's as if your souls have been velcroed together and when you Velcro your soul to someone it shouldn't be, when you pull it apart it hurts.

now back to my view:

now you have these two souls in emotional turmoil and they are both trying to figure out what went wrong but first they have to blame the other person before excepting the responsibility of their own actions.  if those souls don't heal properly you now have two people connecting to two others and the cycle continues and you have a whole collection of people with souls in turmoil and wounded and depressed.  one of the first things you should do if you are insisting on being tied to someone in that sense without being married to them, after it doesn't work out, is re-evaluate the relationship and your part in it.  don't put all of the blame on the other party because there were two of you in it.  sure you may have been what you considered the perfect mate but there is no perfect person so how could you be the perfect mate.

even if you did everything right, loved, appreciated, tended to and those are all wonderful things as yourself what didn't you do in all of that giving.  did you set boundaries, did you remember self while you were doing all of this caring for others, did you hold on to any remnants of yourself or dive all into the other person and forget who you are and what you like.  did you take advantage of the other person's kindness and treat it as a weakness, did you mistreat the other person by having unrealistic expectations of who they are and what you expect of them.

if you felt mistreated ask yourself how were you mistreated and what did you do or not do to make those feelings known.  remember a person will only do to you what you allow them to do.

once you've evaluated then you must forgive; forgive yourself and forgive the other person.  if you continually walk in unforgiveness you are not healing and taking that same hurt into the next relationship and making the other person suffer for something they did not do.

after you have forgiven you must then evaluate what it is that you like about you and enhance that, what you like about you genuinely will be visible to others and they will like it as well, if it is good and not bad.  you must then love yourself for who you are at that moment in your life, you can show others how to love you if you don't know how to love you.  lastly just be happy, if you are happy then you will attract happy.  all of this should take you a good, at the very least, three months.  once that time is up and you have been honest with the process you will then be ready for whomever it is that you are supposed to be with and hopefully they will be ready for you.

live life in happiness and honesty taking responsibility for you.

peace and blessings awesome people,

jai ar