Unemployed and at peace with it

The last few weeks have been an amazing journey of faith, obedience, revelation, patience, confirmation and peace.

A few weeks ago the Holy Spirit laid on me that I would not be at my job much longer and initially I didn't recognize what I was hearing and then shortly after it rested on me again and I realized what was going on and I said ok God I hear you and I receive it, now if I may ask can the next job be closer to home.  Just over two weeks ago I took three days off work to attend my church's annual conference I came back to work to find out that I would not have a job much longer however my boss had no idea I knew.  later in week i called the director that handled/supported my administrative team and informed him that i was aware that i would no longer be employed and if he could send me the paperwork I would appreciate it.  he was not happy that I knew and said he couldn't do anything and was quite uncomfortable with being in the middle now that he was aware.

a little back story; about three months ago I got a new boss because my old one retired one of the first things that was said to me was that they were for work/life balance and I said good.  shortly after I got sick and was out for a week, came back and then I had to leave for a family emergency, came back the following week and worked the whole week.  the following week I had to assist with a three day conference for work and was out of the office the entire time, came back to the office for a week and then went out for the church's conference.

when my former boss "informed" me that I was being let go I thanked her and explained that it would now allow me to do some things that I needed to do.  now that I am no longer employed I can not stay in school because the company was scheduled to pay for the classes.

since then I've had to help my father with his doctor's appointments, support my husband as he was at his sister's side during her medical emergency and just plain relax.  i'm sure there will be more opportunities to help family and friends in the near future.  relaxing was one of the main reasons that I was ok with being let go, this job, although I enjoyed, was very taxing and time consuming and allowed no time for me to rejuvenate or recharge my battery.  I was always tired when I came home, when I left home and it made it difficult for me to concentrate on my spiritual growth.

now I can concentrate on the things that God has given as assignments for me to do.  i'll be posting more on that and how it's going later.  I love my God, He is so awesome.  at the beginning of this year during our new year's service at church I personally prayed for three things; revelation, obedience and restoration.  after I prayed that i went to the alter for prayer and asked for the same things and I love that all of those things I prayed for are coming to pass. 

as for a new job, i'll have a new job by the beginning of next year. 

peace and blessings you wonderful people!

jai ar

 

"It's Working"(Grace & Favor) William Murphy & Contagious at Greenbriar ...

 I've got a seed in the ground!

what i know for sure

What I know for sure: hurt people hurt people! Whether it is a past or present hurt, my sister/brother, if you don't deal with it honestly in all of it's displeasure, all of it's pain, all of it's ugly memories you will go on to hurt people and in most cases the very people you swore you would never hurt because you love them too much. 

 

Mothers, playing those children as pawns in the game of life... is not only hurting the father but truly the child and detrimentally so, fathers not seeing that child or caring for them on all levels because of the mother hurts that child and detrimentally so.

 

Siblings forgive one another because in the end all you truly have is your very first friends in life, each other. 

 

Spouses treat each other in kindness and love because if your mate is doing everything they can to be God's mate for you you'd better act like it and reciprocate.  

 

Lying to cover your tracks usually only exposes the lie and you even more. 

 

  Peace and blessings beautiful people!

 

jai ar

 

 

Cats

I dreamt about cats last night and this is not the first time.  In maybe the last two to three weeks I've dreamt about these same cats, one is blonde with a very full coat and the other is a sleek haired charcoal gray.  

The blonde one is very persistent and does whatever (s)he can to get my attention, even ending up in the fridge at one point.  The gray one just smoothly walks around me so that I see it but doesn't stay in my sight for very long.

Now let me say this, I am allergic to cats, puffy eyes, itchy throat and fits of incessant sneezes.  But I think they are so adorable and if I could have a cat I would.  So with that said, when I see these cats my first instinct is to get them out of my space so that the reaction doesn't start but they just won't go away, especially the blonde one he just kept making himself visible, everywhere I turned he was there.  After about 20-30 minutes I noticed that I was not sneezing or itching, shortly after that I woke up.

I believe most dreams have a meaning, if not all dreams.  So I looked up what dreaming about cats could mean.  I read about seven interpretations and six of them said that cats in a dream means you need to tap into your natural intuitive abilities, cats represent your intuitive part of your being.  They are also a representation if your sensitive side.  Only one of those dream descriptions said that  cats represent evil or bad luck so of course I ignore that one.

I'm a pretty sensitive person anyway and also lean a lot more into my intuitive side than a lot if people so this is saying to me that I really need to get back into my meditation sessions and tap into the spirit side of me.  

Let the journey begin, I see nothing but great things coming of this!

Peace and blessings wonderful people!

Jai Ar

8/30/13 thoughts

My mind is so cluttered lately and it makes it difficult for me to focus, extremely difficult.  This only means I need to get back into my deep prayer and meditation lifestyle because with clutter comes chaos and with chaos comes catastrophe.  Deep prayer and meditation are the only things that help me move forward and upward.  So many things to write, so many things to do because my life is about to change and I have to be ready for it.

I have a few books in my belly which must be birthed; I started one of them years ago and I keep putting it down but I need to pick it back up and finish it.  I have a degree to finish and I've already started that, just finished my first class and start my second and third one next week.  My new boss started a couple of weeks ago so i have to regain focus at work because that's been off lately and although I know God works out everything, I can't afford to lose my job over my own neglect.  I've already made it known to her that my goal is upward movement and I know to get there I must work hard and prove myself worthy.  Hard to do that when my mind is cluttered.

My peace and my relationship with God is most important and I must get back to that and now.

Peace and blessings you awesome people!  Jai Ar

thinking about soul ties

Another topic that I have been thinking on is one I have mention before in another post; soul ties.

I was thinking how enjoyable intimacy is between husband and wife versus a dating couple or even a sex partners situation.  When I am intimate with my husband, not just sexually, their is a feeling of connection that I have never felt with any of the men that I have dated, seriously or sexually, ever.  I am of the belief that it has to be because of our God ordained, covenant created soul tie.

In the past I have explained what a soul tie is but briefly and simply it is that connection that a man and woman has when they have sex, especially unprotected sex.  Sex was created and ordained by God to be between husband and wife.  He did that because there is a lot that is supposed to happen between that man and woman before, during and after that act and during that interaction fluids are exchanged, bodies are intertwined and souls are connected or tied together.  If this act is committed between man and woman who are not ordained or meant to be together then the emotions that go along with all of that are now in a turmoil.

ok, so I had to take a little break to regroup and then come back to this.  but funny, while I was taking my break I heard a comment on the radio about soul ties and the example that was given was it's as if your souls have been velcroed together and when you Velcro your soul to someone it shouldn't be, when you pull it apart it hurts.

now back to my view:

now you have these two souls in emotional turmoil and they are both trying to figure out what went wrong but first they have to blame the other person before excepting the responsibility of their own actions.  if those souls don't heal properly you now have two people connecting to two others and the cycle continues and you have a whole collection of people with souls in turmoil and wounded and depressed.  one of the first things you should do if you are insisting on being tied to someone in that sense without being married to them, after it doesn't work out, is re-evaluate the relationship and your part in it.  don't put all of the blame on the other party because there were two of you in it.  sure you may have been what you considered the perfect mate but there is no perfect person so how could you be the perfect mate.

even if you did everything right, loved, appreciated, tended to and those are all wonderful things as yourself what didn't you do in all of that giving.  did you set boundaries, did you remember self while you were doing all of this caring for others, did you hold on to any remnants of yourself or dive all into the other person and forget who you are and what you like.  did you take advantage of the other person's kindness and treat it as a weakness, did you mistreat the other person by having unrealistic expectations of who they are and what you expect of them.

if you felt mistreated ask yourself how were you mistreated and what did you do or not do to make those feelings known.  remember a person will only do to you what you allow them to do.

once you've evaluated then you must forgive; forgive yourself and forgive the other person.  if you continually walk in unforgiveness you are not healing and taking that same hurt into the next relationship and making the other person suffer for something they did not do.

after you have forgiven you must then evaluate what it is that you like about you and enhance that, what you like about you genuinely will be visible to others and they will like it as well, if it is good and not bad.  you must then love yourself for who you are at that moment in your life, you can show others how to love you if you don't know how to love you.  lastly just be happy, if you are happy then you will attract happy.  all of this should take you a good, at the very least, three months.  once that time is up and you have been honest with the process you will then be ready for whomever it is that you are supposed to be with and hopefully they will be ready for you.

live life in happiness and honesty taking responsibility for you.

peace and blessings awesome people,

jai ar
 

procrastination

I have once again drowned myself in procrastination.  I have had several good, no great, topics of discussion in my head for the last month or more and have yet to put any of them down.  I have yet to fill/feel any of them out to see what they may amount to and I have used, work, school, family and fatigue all as excuses for not doing any of the things that I should do.  not taking the time to reconnect with me and my God the way I should, not taking the time to put those things down in print as I am spiritually directed to, not taking the time to do those things that may lift up others to the measure that I am supposed to is an absolute dis-service to myself and dishonors my Creator.

all of that said, I have decided, just now in this moment to set myself a daily reminder to journal/blog/write down my day's thoughts or the thoughts from a day or days ago so that I am back on track with His calling on my life.  for right now I am going to write on yesterday and then move back as far as a can remember over the last 7 days.

yesterday

a friend of mine and I had been talking over the last few weeks about a guy that she's "dating", it is in parenthesis because she said to me today she has no idea what it is they are doing now.  we'd also been talking about a relationship she has with her best friend and how that seems to be slowing down and why she thinks it is and what others are saying they think it is and so on and so forth.  so yesterday she says to me that all of it came to a head and she needed to talk with me and seek my advice.  I have had people come to me over the years asking my thoughts on a particular thing or another and requesting my advice, initially I was reluctant to do it because usually when you do that and something goes wrong, they blame the advice giver.  later I began to see that this is a part of my calling, my blessing, my assignment and because I know that I try to meditate or think hard before I respond to them because any words that I speak I want them to be genuine, honest and from God.  does that always work?  no.  but I do try my best to have that happen.

so she begins to tell me how her friend has been avoiding her lately and not been very receptive to her checking in on her to see how she is doing.  i'd told her just a day or so before to just allow the woman space to cope with what is or may be going on in her life at this moment.  so we are discussing the latest situation and how the friend avoided her like the plague and only acknowledged her after someone else made a point of speaking to her.  a little back story, my friend and she's a new friend, has had a troubling last year or so and is just now getting her bearings again with work and relationship and she is happy once again and making moves on her own, no longer has to ask anyone to help her because she has no other way.  back to the point; all of her happiness going on but her friend is now going through her own battles, unhappy on the job, in her relationships and extended family issues and may very well be having a hard time being happy for my friend, maybe even a little jealous.

so we have this discussion and I say to her just give her the space she needs to get over whatever she needs to get over but be there when she calls to reach out, to apologize, to reconcile to talk.  she may very well be hurting and jealous and unable to deal with your happiness and newly regained independence.  she was used to you coming to her and speaking to her and relying on her that now that you don't have to do that anymore she is having a hard time dealing with it and she also has her own stuff to sift through and maybe trying to do that and this may not have anything at all to do with you.  give her the space she is asking you for non-verbally but be there for her when she calls.  she tells me she's just done because it's not the first time this woman has done this to her and she feels like the woman is being petty and childish.  I agree but you still have to be there, you can't be done in this way.

we spent some more time together and discussed her "boyfriend" and my husband schooled her on that one.  that's another conversation in itself.   but my hope is that this woman has heard us both and is analyzing all of it and figuring out within what is the best way to handle this and all through prayer and meditation.

peace and blessings wonderful people and I look forward to keeping in track with my plan to blog/journal on a regular basis.

jai ar